ENTJ and ENFJ: Compatibility, Love, Marriage, and Romance
Once a visionary ENTJ meets up with an ENFJ who loves to advocate for others and important causes, it’s almost impossible to keep them apart. Being charismatic and persuasive in their own unique ways, both ENTJ and ENFJ are well-known for getting results in whatever situation they become involved in. As they get to know each other, their compatibility can find them going from friendship to love in a hurry.
I. Compatibility
ENTJ and ENFJ are often so compatible with one another because each is not only passionate about whatever causes they are working on at that moment, but also because both are very genuine with others from the very beginning. Each takes their relationships with others very seriously, be it friendships or intimate ones.
Always encouraging others around them to strive to be the very best in all areas of life, they do the same for each other when involved in a relationship. Goal-oriented, each relies on logic and empathy to help them understand others. Though ENTJ won’t display their emotions nearly as often as ENFJ, they nevertheless feel very deeply and passionately about those people who are important parts of their life.
Summary Chart: ENTJ and ENFJ Compatibility vs. Potential Conflicts
| Compatibility | Potential Conflicts |
| Both are genuine with others | ENTJ’s hesitance to share emotions |
| Each is goal-oriented | ENFJ socializing |
| Both love helping others | ENTJ wants to be in charge |
| Deeply value relationships | ENFJ too emotional |
3 Reasons Why ENTJ and ENFJ are Good for Each Other
Similar in how they approach life, ENTJ and ENFJ are good for each other in various ways.
- Both enjoy communication
- Both work hard to get positive results
- Each gets along well with others
Though neither enjoys conflict, ENTJ and ENFJ are not unwilling to let their thoughts be known, especially if they feel it is very important to do so. Whether they are in a friendship with one another or have progressed to a romance, each will keep the lines of communication open at all times.
While it can be frustrating for ENFJ when ENTJ keeps their emotions hidden a bit too much for their liking, each knows the other is a very hard worker who is committed to putting in the hard work needed to achieve the desired results. Since they both get along so well with others, it is easy for them to work together on many different projects, giving them a sense of accomplishment both individually and as a couple.
3 Reasons Why ENTJ and ENFJ are Not Good for Each Other
Even though it seems there is no way ENTJ and ENFJ can have anything but a great relationship with each other, certain conflicts can tank this relationship in a hurry.
- ENTJ is too direct at times with ENFJ
- ENFJ feels ENTJ stays too distant emotionally
- ENTJ may take charge too much within their relationship
Two people who can communicate with each other and other people with few if any problems, ENTJ and ENFJ do sometimes have problems in this area when they have a friendship or romance. Generally, ENFJ may tire of ENTJ being very direct and blunt with them about anything and everything, resulting in ENFJ feeling as if they are always being criticized.
Meanwhile, if ENTJ always hesitates to have that much-needed heart-to-heart talk with ENFJ, this emotional distance can quickly sink any hopes these two have of taking a friendship to the next level. Along with this, ENTJ’s tendency to always want to be in charge of a situation can leave ENFJ feeling as if they are not being allowed to reach their full potential.
Communication
Since both of these personalities are extroverts and rely on intuition and judgments when it comes to dealing with others, they tend to communicate very well with each other.
Both excel at being with other people and are always able to get their message across very easily. When communicating, ENTJ tends to rely more on logic and directness, while ENFJ will focus more on the emotional side of an issue. If there is one thing ENFJ excels at more so than almost anybody else, it’s their ability to quickly read a room and know what to say or not say.
Where are they strong and why?
Communication between ENTJ and ENFJ is so strong due to their willingness to consider the other’s needs, see things from other perspectives, and make one another feel very comfortable right away. In fact, their ability to put others at ease from the moment they first meet is often the way ENTJ and ENFJ initially meet and want to get to know each other better.
Where do they have problems and why?
Communication problems arise between ENTJ and ENFJ when ENTJ decides they and they alone know what is best for their relationship with ENFJ. When this happens, communication between them becomes much more difficult. Even if ENFJ tries to make their thoughts, feelings, and ideas known to ENTJ, it is likely ENTJ is already pushing them aside in their mind as they move forward with their plan. If this happens too frequently, the relationship won’t last.
How might they improve communication?
To improve their interpersonal communication with each other, ENTJ and ENFJ will both need to be willing to make a few changes.
First, ENTJ will need to be much more willing to share their innermost thoughts and feelings with ENFJ. Though hard for them to do, once they start combining their emotions with their logical thinking and opening up a bit more to ENFJ, they find they do indeed have a partner who is willing to help them carry the emotional load regarding certain areas of life.
Meanwhile, ENFJ will need to be willing to listen to the logical side of things now and then, rather than simply approach each topic from a purely emotional standpoint. Just as being emotional is hard for ENTJ, being logical is difficult at times for ENFJ. Yet if they use this side of their personality more often, they find their relationship with ENTJ will flourish.
Where do they connect and why?
ENTJ and ENFJ connect in the area of wanting to see others improve their lives. They also form a connection with each other due to their ability to use their outgoing personalities to get things done in almost any situation. Whether it’s at work, as part of a community project, or just within their friendship or long-term relationship, each can present very convincing arguments concerning their beliefs and ideas.
ENTJ and ENFJ: Values
ENTJ and ENFJ each have very strong sets of values, especially in the areas of relationships, hard work, and how they are perceived by others.
3 Things ENTJ Values
- Achieving goals
- Respected by others
- Logical and direct communication
As a person who loves to be put in charge of the most challenging situations, ENTJ places great value on getting satisfactory results each and every time they are counted on by others. When they are able to do so, this helps them feel a deep sense of respect from those they helped along the way, contributing to their high level of self-esteem.
ENTJ also values communication that is direct and always logical, since they feel this helps avoid misunderstandings and allows for growth within a relationship.
3 Things ENFJ Values
- Empathy
- Authentic relationships
- Privacy
Since ENFJ is all about the emotional side of life, it is natural for them to place a great deal of emphasis on valuing empathy. Always wanting to see others grow, they like combining their ideas and emotions to set the stage for personal growth.
When in any relationship, ENFJ wants it to be authentic. At the first hint something is amiss in terms of truth and honesty, ENFJ will look elsewhere for a new friend or lover.
Finally, privacy is also something near and dear to their heart. Though always willing to reveal their personal thoughts to others, they also know that sometimes they get backlash for doing so. Thus, in some situations, ENFJ feels it will be better to keep their thoughts to themselves in an effort to fit in with the crowd.
How do their values match up?
Overall, the values of ENTJ and ENFJ match up very well. Both want their relationships to be genuine and have clear lines of communication. While there is some difference in that ENTJ places a greater emphasis on personal recognition and ENFJ values personal growth of others, they usually blend these two areas into one that works well within their relationship.
Love Language/Love Style
To no one’s surprise, ENFJ is always the more emotional member of this couple. As a result, they are the one who will express their emotions openly and honestly day after day. ENTJ will choose a love style that is more focused on actions rather than words, meaning they will make time to spend with ENFJ in an effort to show them just how much they care about them and their relationship.
Ways ENTJ Shows Their Love
ENTJ will show love in the following ways:
- Encourage ENFJ in personal growth
- Make room for quality time
- The occasional surprise
ENTJ will show their love for ENFJ by always being there to encourage them to reach for the stars, which will help ENFJ feel much more secure within the relationship. Quality time is also critical to ENTJ, and they won’t hesitate to reschedule a meeting so that they can have a quiet dinner with ENFJ. Once in awhile, ENTJ will step out from their logical persona and do something totally by surprise, such as arrange for a singing telegram to be sent to their lover at work or perhaps secretly plan a weekend getaway.
Ways ENFJ Shows Their Love
ENFJ will show their love in the following ways:
- Revealing their true emotions
- Staying in a relationship
- Helping others
ENFJ will always let their emotions guide their thinking, especially when it comes to love. Because of this, they will never be afraid to reveal their true emotions when in a relationship, even if it may put the relationship itself at risk. When times are tough, don’t expect ENFJ to go anywhere. Instead, they will be by ENTJ’s side to help figure out how they can come out on the other side of things. Finally, ENFJ will always show love by helping others. As a person who will give others the shirt off their back, ENFJ will care for a sick family member, give financial help to total strangers, or be the person who brings home the stray dog or cat they happen to find.
ENTJ and ENFJ in Bed
When ENTJ and ENFJ go to bed, they both look at sex as something that’s much more than just a physical act. ENFJ will always release their emotions under the sheets, letting ENTJ know just how much they love them. ENTJ will surprisingly push their often outwardly cold demeanor aside when in bed with ENFJ, instead becoming a person who wants to satisfy their partner in every way possible. As these two become more comfortable with each other in bed, they find the love and respect they have for one another only grows stronger in the years ahead.
II. ENTJ and ENFJ Couples/Marriage
How does ENTJ match up in a long-term romantic relationship?
ENTJ Male and ENFJ Female
The ENTJ male will be one who is always direct in communicating with his girlfriend or wife. Though he will try hard not to hurt her feelings, the ENTJ male will believe honesty is the best answer to avoiding problems. Meanwhile, his ENFJ female will know her ENTJ male means well, and thus will rarely let his words hurt her feelings. Instead, she will be the emotional rock her family relies on in good times and bad.
ENTJ Female and ENFJ Male
An ENTJ female will be the true problem-solver of her family. Whether it’s her spouse or kids, she will always seem to have the right answer, since it will be derived logically and with a good dose of common sense. The ENFJ male will be the man who won’t hesitate to defend his mate or other family members with high levels of emotion, even if it means he personally may suffer repercussions from others. In doing so, the ENFJ male shows those he loves that he is always willing to help them out in tough situations.
III. ENTJ and ENFJ Conflicts
Any relationship, even one that seems as cohesive as ENTJ and ENFJ, will have some degree of conflict now and then. Though they rarely argue about anything, some issues may create complex conflicts between them.
Possible Areas of Conflict and Why
The conflict between ENTJ and ENFJ can happen for the following reasons:
- ENTJ will fail to ask ENFJ’s opinion and automatically take charge
- ENFJ will sometimes focus on others rather than on ENTJ
- ENTJ will be unwilling to display their emotions
- ENFJ may, at times, appear manipulative to ENTJ
When these two face a situation together, ENFJ will like to have a say in the matter. However, if ENTJ believes they already have the answer, it will be too little too late for ENFJ, which will lead to hurt feelings and resentment. In many instances, it will also annoy ENFJ that ENTJ will maintain a very cold outward appearance to others, leaving them with what is often a very wrong impression of the true person.
As for ENFJ, since they love to help others, they may do so while failing to pay enough attention to ENTJ. Should this happen too often for ENTJ’s tastes, it could prove to be a fatal blow to their relationship. In other situations, especially when ENFJ wants something very badly, they may play a game of emotional manipulation. If ENTJ sees through this, an argument may ensue.
How do they resolve conflict?
Since ENTJ relies on logic to solve problems and ENFJ turns to emotions when dealing with tough situations, it can seem as if they can rarely resolve conflicts. However, this is not the case at all. Once ENTJ decides to be a bit more sensitive and acknowledge ENFJ’s feelings and ENFJ decides to use a bit more logic when arguing their case, conflicts between these two can disappear almost as fast as they appeared.
How do they build trust?
ENTJ will begin to trust an ENFJ who expresses themselves very directly, rather than through a rambling emotional outburst. In fact, ENTJ will come to respect an ENFJ who is willing to sit down and talk through an issue calmly and rationally.
ENFJ will trust ENTJ once ENTJ starts to open up emotionally and build a personal connection between them. For an ENFJ, some compassion and consideration from an ENTJ will go a long way toward establishing long-term trust.
IV. ENTJ and ENFJ Friendships
Being similar in so many ways, it is no surprise that ENTJ and ENFJ often establish quick friendships that can endure for decades. In most cases, even after they have only known one another for a short period of time, they feel as if they have been friends forever.
ENTJ vs. ENFJ: Approaches to Friendship
Though they do usually become good friends, ENTJ and ENFJ take very different approaches to establishing friendships.
ENTJ will always want friends who are high-achievers, work hard to reach their goals, and display self-confidence while doing so. Though this is not an exact description of ENFJ, ENTJ will respect the passion ENFJ has for what they do, their willingness to go the extra mile for others, and their determination to succeed.
ENFJ will be drawn to people who are charismatic and encourage others to achieve their dreams, which is exactly what ENTJ can do very well. Once these two meet and start talking, a fast friendship is born.
ENTJ and ENFJ Friendship Dynamics
Once they become friends, ENTJ and ENFJ can help each other see life from a different perspective.
ENTJ will help ENFJ realize that emotions alone cannot solve problems, while ENFJ will help ENTJ see that it is okay now and then to let others see how they are feeling about something important. In short, each is able to help their friend step out of their comfort zone on occasion, which over time creates a friendship that has more and more trust and respect.
What makes them good for each other as friends?
ENTJ and ENFJ are good for each other as friends in part because both like to be in group situations. Neither is afraid to converse with others, which allows them to stand out and get to know each other in various ways. Since neither is intimidated by the other, their egos rarely clash.
Could they be close friends?
Instead of asking if they can be close friends, the real question is how can they not establish a close friendship? ENTJ and ENFJ don’t take very long to develop mutual respect for one another, build up a high level of trust, and learn how to help each other maximize their strengths and minimize their weaknesses. Even if they don’t always understand each other, they do respect each other enough to let the other person go down their own path, setting the stage for what will usually be a close friendship that lasts late into life.
What are some areas that might cause them problems as friends?
In terms of problems that may plague this friendship, the most serious is ENTJ’s desire to always be in charge. When this happens time after time, ENFJ may start to feel resentful and want to spend less and less time with ENTJ. As for ENFJ, wearing their emotions on their sleeves constantly can wear on an ENTJ who often keeps their emotions well-hidden. Should ENFJ have an emotional outburst in public that ENTJ feels was not necessary, this friendship is all but done.
