When a charismatic ENTJ meets up with a humble and quiet ISFJ, they don’t seem to be a good fit for one another. However, once they realize both share a similar work ethic and enthusiasm for many aspects of life, they realize compatibility is indeed possible. Under the right circumstances, their friendship may result in love and marriage.
ENTJ and ISFJ have the potential to have both an enduring friendship as well as a long-term romance or marriage. Since each possesses a strong work ethic, they often initially meet on the job or when involved in a community project. ENTJ will usually take charge, but ISFJ will be the one who makes sure all the small details are taken care of along the way.
Should they pursue a relationship with one another, each will give it all they have each day. Both share an enthusiasm for being around people, although ISFJ tends to prefer small groups of those they already know, while ENTJ is all about meeting as many new people as possible. Yet in most social settings, the charismatic ENTJ and much quieter ISFJ form a team that tends to draw people to them time after time.
Summary Chart: ENTJ and ISFJ Compatibility vs. Possible Conflicts
|Both enjoy socializing
|Occasional power struggles
|Each are hard workers
|ENTJ not sharing feelings
|Take relationships seriously
|ISFJ too quiet socially
|Willing to help others
|ENTJ too direct at times
3 Reasons Why ENTJ and ISFJ Are Good for One Another
Because of their zest for life and willingness to work hard to achieve goals, ENTJ and ISFJ are good for one another in many ways.
- Each brings out the best in the other person.
- Good communication within their relationship.
- Both are goal-oriented people.
Whether they are friends or spouses, ENTJ and ISFJ tend to bring out the best in one another. ENTJ’s charismatic personality will sometimes rub off on ISFJ, prompting them to push aside their usually quiet demeanor and become the life of the party on occasion. In other situations, ISFJ will help ENTJ get more in touch with their emotions, making sure others are able to see the real person that lives underneath that sometimes cold and logical exterior.
As they get to know one another, neither is afraid to say what needs to be said at that moment, although ENTJ may sometimes get a bit too direct when speaking to ISFJ. Whether they are working to improve their relationship, are co-workers involved in a project, or are working together as part of a larger group within a church or other setting, both are determined to set realistic goals and do what is necessary to see that they are met.
3 Reasons Why ENTJ and ISFJ Are Not Good for One Another
While having similarities, ENTJ and ISFJ also have many distinct differences. As a result, not all of their relationships become successful.
- ENTJ may be too controlling of ISFJ.
- ISFJ can be too much of a perfectionist.
- ISFJ may not want to expand their circle of friends.
Since ENTJ is used to being the person who is always in charge of most situations, they have a tendency to be controlling when involved in a relationship, which will make ISFJ uncomfortable in a hurry.
Though both like to see things done right, the perfectionist mode ISFJ gets into when doing even the smallest of tasks can tend to try the patience of an ENTJ who wants to meet one goal and move on immediately to the next.
Socializing is perhaps the one area where these two have the potential for the most conflict. When ENTJ enters a room, they act as if they have never met a stranger, and thus make the rounds to get to know everyone. However, ISFJ is much quieter and will instead gravitate immediately to those they know, and more than likely stay around them from beginning to end. This may annoy ENTJ, especially if they are trying to make a great first impression on someone they deem to be very important to their career or other areas of life.
There are times when communication between ENTJ and ISFJ can prove to be difficult. After all, ENTJ is a true extrovert, while ISFJ is the textbook example of an introvert. Yet once they develop a good friendship or romantic relationship, each will attempt to leave their comfort zone when necessary to maintain a healthy relationship and make the other aware of their thoughts and feelings.
ISFJ can actually be quite good at getting ENTJ to express their emotions much more than usual, since they can use their intuition to know just which buttons need to be pushed. ENTJ will learn to appreciate this, and will return the favor by lending enough encouragement to ISFJ that they feel more comfortable making new friends.
Where are they strong and why?
ENTJ and ISFJ are strong in communication because each sees things from a different perspective. Even if this produces an occasional conflict, it also forces each to talk about things in different ways, enabling them to work through problems much faster than many would anticipate. The more comfortable they become with one another, the stronger communication bond they form within their relationship.
Where do they have problems and why?
ENTJ and ISFJ will have communication problems when both fail to let the combination of logic and emotions bond accordingly during their discussions. ENTJ has a tendency to take logical thinking to an extreme, which will have them appearing cold and maybe even heartless at times. This may greatly upset ISFJ, who is much more emotional when discussing problems. Should ENTJ get too critical of ISFJ’s emotional displays, communication may suffer a serious breakdown.
How can they improve communication?
Communication between ENTJ and ISFJ can improve in several ways. First, ENTJ will need to be empathetic toward ISFJ’s feelings about a subject, and must let them express themselves in the manner they are most comfortable doing so. As for ISFJ, they will need to add a bit more logic and practicality to the conversation, since this will help them gain the respect of ENTJ, who will then take what they are saying much more seriously.
Where do they connect and why?
ENTJ and ISFJ connect with each other in the areas of hard work, commitment to their relationship, and making sure each of them as well as those around them grow as individuals.
Usually meeting due to having common interests, ENTJ and ISFJ both love setting goals and then working hard to achieve them. This helps them form a connection that carries over into their communication, since they both love to discuss what’s been done and what still needs to be done. Over time, they come to nurture one another, knowing how to encourage and motivate one another to be their very best.
ENTJ and ISFJ: Values
To nobody’s surprise, ENTJ and ISFJ share a core set of values when it comes to hard work, helping others, and maintaining healthy relationships.
3 Things ENTJ Values
- Hard work
- Direct communication
Though ENTJ does not necessarily always make everything about them exclusively, they do nonetheless greatly value having others recognize their efforts, whether it’s working hard to improve a personal relationship or completing a work-related project.
ENTJ also values hard work done by them and others, believing this is the only way to find success in life. They also value very direct communication, even if they feel the truth may hurt sometimes. Believing this helps avoid many unnecessary problems, ENTJ will always want others to lay all their cards on the table and tell it like it is.
3 Things ISFJ Values
ISFJ is at heart a very humble person, and thus greatly values this trait in others as well, especially those who have achieved much in their lives. They also appreciate perfection, whether it’s a work of art or a project they have been involved with that seems to have gone just as expected or even better. ISFJ also values enthusiasm for life, especially when they are involved in a close friendship or romantic relationship. A person who wants to get the most out of life each day and make a difference along the way, ISFJ will always be the person who can use their enthusiasm to motivate and inspire others.
How do their values match up?
The values of ENTJ and ISFJ match up somewhat well. Both want to see things done as well as possible, although ENTJ may be a bit too concerned about making sure they get recognized for their efforts. However, each deeply values the hard work that goes into making a relationship successful, which is why this pair can be great friends or spouses.
Love Language/Love Style
ENTJ and ISFJ have very different love languages and love styles. Yet when they are together in a relationship, they somehow make it all work most of the time.
ENTJ will make quality time a top priority, believing that postponing an important meeting or business trip will show their love much more than giving ISFJ a card or box of candy. ISFJ will do the opposite, instead choosing to give cards, flowers, candy, and words of love to their special ENTJ. However, ISFJ may also plan a quiet dinner for two on occasion, believing this will of course be the perfect setting to hand out a gift and a few kisses as well.
How ENTJ Shows Their Love
ENTJ will show their love in the following ways.
- Direct and honest communication
- Showing empathy
- Quality time
Though to others ENTJ may appear cold and distant at times, they are the opposite with those they love. Thus, ENTJ will go above and beyond to spend quality time with ISFJ, while at the same time showcasing empathy that others rarely see. During their quality time together, ENTJ will give ISFJ a good dose of honest communication, which always helps to make their relationship even stronger.
How ISFJ Shows Their Love
ISFJ will show their love in the following ways.
- Listening to their partner
- Offering encouragement
- Working for a perfect relationship
Although it’s impossible for any relationship to be completely perfect, this won’t stop ISFJ from trying to be the first person to make it happen. As long as this is not carried to the extreme, those around them will greatly appreciate the hard work and attention to detail ISFJ puts into making those around them happy. Whether it’s listening to someone pouring out their heart or offering words of encouragement to someone who’s starting a new job, ISFJ will be the person whose kind words will always be appreciated.
ENTJ and ISFJ in Bed
When it comes to being in bed with each other, ENTJ and ISFJ make their traits work together much better than might be expected. ISFJ will view sex as an emotional as well as physical bonding between them and ENTJ, and will do all they can to make the experience fantastic and as long-lasting as possible. ENTJ will be a very charismatic and attentive lover, making sure ISFJ also enjoys their time beneath the sheets. Though ENTJ tends to avoid displays of emotions in most situations, they will make an exception when in bed with ISFJ. In doing so, they make the sexual experience between the two that much better and meaningful.
II. ENTJ and ISFJ Couples/Marriage
How does ENTJ match up when involved in a long-term romantic relationship?
ENTJ Male and ISFJ Female
An ENTJ male will be the romantic partner who is extremely charismatic and envied by most of the other ladies who are friends with the ISFJ female. The ENTJ male will like to take charge of the relationship, while at the same time encouraging his ISFJ female to pursue her passions in life, be it a new career or a hobby. The ISFJ female will bring plenty of emotion to this pairing, and will be the person who is relied on by the ENTJ male for emotional support most others who know ENTJ assume he does not need on a regular basis.
ENTJ Female and ISFJ Male
When the genders get reversed in this romantic relationship, things still turn out quite well. The ENTJ female will use her charm and directness to make sure her emotional ISFJ male stays on the proper course at all times. While this may sound too controlling, the ISFJ male will actually come to appreciate the stability this brings to the relationship. When these two venture out as a couple, the combination of charisma and humbleness makes them the most popular couple in the room.
III. ENTJ and ISFJ Conflicts
Since they do possess some significant personality differences, ENTJ and ISFJ do have conflicts about various things, some of which may pose problems for their relationship’s long-term success.
Possible Areas of Conflict and Why
Conflict between ENTJ and ISFJ can occur for the following reasons.
- ENTJ may be too controlling and critical of ISFJ
- ISFJ may try too hard to make their relationship perfect
- ENTJ may be unwilling to let their emotions show
If ENTJ starts to think ISFJ’s emotions are guiding their thinking too much within their relationship, ENTJ’s natural desire to take charge of the situation may result in ISFJ feeling like ENTJ has become too controlling.
Once ISFJ is in love with ENTJ, they will want the relationship to be perfect. Since perfection is usually unattainable between humans, ENTJ may grow weary of ISFJ’s attentiveness, even if they know they mean well.
Finally, it’s hard for ENTJ to let their emotions become known to others. As their relationship progresses and this continues, ISFJ may feel like they still don’t know the real ENTJ.
How do they resolve conflict?
This can be a problem area with these two. To resolve conflict, ENTJ will need to be very supportive of ISFJ, hoping this will help ISFJ feel safe enough to express their thoughts and feelings. On the flip side of things, ISFJ will need to calm down and use a more logical approach with ENTJ when resolving a conflict, since logical thinking is a big part of ENTJ’s makeup.
How do they build trust?
To build trust between them, ENTJ and ISFJ need to find the right combination of empathy, active listening, and direct communication. ENTJ will start to trust an ISFJ who will be very direct and forthcoming with their thoughts. As for ISFJ, they will trust ENTJ when they feel as if ENTJ is showing them the proper amount of empathy and is truly listening to their concerns. Once each believes the other is willing and able to venture out of their comfort zone and put the other’s needs ahead of their own when necessary, the level of trust within this relationship will grow very quickly.
IV. ENTJ and ISFJ Friendships
Despite some differences that may lead to conflicts, ENTJ and ISFJ have what it takes to form an excellent friendship. As they discover more about each other, they tend to form a strong bond that can withstand many challenges along the way.
ENTJ vs. ISFJ: Approaches to Friendship
Though they take different paths, ENTJ and ISFJ approach friendship in much the same manner. ENTJ will never meet a stranger, and will quickly be able to work a room and have many new friends by evening’s end. ISFJ will take a slower approach, starting out with a small group of familiar faces and gradually expand their circle in the hours ahead. ENTJ will be drawn to the humbleness of ISFJ, while it will be the charisma that makes ISFJ take notice of the ENTJ in the room.
ENTJ and ISFJ Friendship Dynamics
The introverted ISFJ and the extroverted ENTJ use these dynamics to their advantage within their friendship. ENTJ will be able to convince ISFJ to showcase their intelligence and talent to others, while ISFJ will be able to remind ENTJ that being humble now and then isn’t always a bad thing. Once they become close friends, others will see this duo as one that can get almost anything done.
What makes them good for each other as friends?
ENTJ and ISFJ are good for each other as friends in social situations especially. ENTJ will take ISFJ under their wing and help them meet far more new people than ISFJ ever would on their own, which will be appreciated by ISFJ. Meanwhile, ISFJ will help others realize that underneath that cold and calculating personality they see regularly, ENTJ is actually a person who cares deeply about people and the world around them.
Can ENTJ and ISFJ be close friends?
ENTJ and ISFJ can be close friends, especially if they realize early on that there is much more to one another than they originally see on the surface. If they find themselves working on a project together or just happen to strike up a conversation, it won’t take long for each to figure out they want to get to know the other person much better. As they do, they form a friendship that will endure tough times and likely last for many decades.
What areas may cause them problems as friends?
The biggest problem these two will face in having a long-lasting friendship is when each starts to think the other is trying too hard to change them into somebody else. ISFJ may resent ENTJ trying to constantly force them to meet new people, believing ENTJ may be trying to exert too much control over their life. Meanwhile, ENTJ can get tired of the constant seeking of perfection ISFJ may exhibit, as well as them wearing their emotions on their sleeves for all to see time after time. If they can’t find a happy medium between logic, emotions, and control, ENTJ and ISFJ may see their friendship break apart.