How Do INFJs Deal with Breakups?

INFJs are deep-thinking, empathetic individuals who value emotional connections with others. While breakups are difficult for everyone, they can be especially challenging for an INFJ. Here are some typical ways that INFJs handle breakups and a few strategies to help them recover.

Difficulty Letting Go

INFJs find it hard to let go of people and things that they care about deeply. Change is not easy for them, and it usually takes a lot of time and pain for them to learn to live with it. INFJs often fight to save a relationship with everything they have. It’s important for them to remember that letting go is not a sign of weakness but a necessary step in moving forward. It helps them to focus on the positive aspects of their life and the possibilities that come with change.

Prioritizing Harmony

INFJs prioritize order and harmony over almost everything. When a breakup disrupts this sense of balance, INFJs may blame themselves and seek ways to restore order and balance. An INFJ going through a breakup should remember that it takes two people to make a relationship work, and its end is not necessarily a reflection of their worth as a person. INFJs shouldn’t blame themselves for things that are out of their control.


INFJs tend to be overly apologetic and blame themselves, even for things that are not their fault. They may get hung up on what went wrong in a relationship, making it hard for them to move on. To successfully move on after a breakup, INFJs should try to forgive themselves for any mistakes they made. Focusing on what they learned from the relationship can help them grow from it.

Retreating into Solitude

INFJs cope by retreating into solitude, which can be helpful for self-reflection and healing. They should be careful not to isolate themselves for too long. It’s often necessary for INFJs to set healthy boundaries and make time for themselves. It can also be helpful for them to connect with loved ones or seek help from a therapist or support group.

Love and Revenge

INFJs may experience conflicting emotions after a breakup. They want to believe in love and kindness, but may also feel the urge to seek revenge or lash out at their ex. It’s important for an INFJ to remember that revenge is never a healthy or productive way to cope with the pain of a breakup. INFJs should focus on healing and finding closure in a positive way.


INFJs struggle to move on from relationships, even once they have fully realized that they are doomed to failure. Longing can extend the pain of their breakup long after all hope has gone. INFJs should allow themselves to feel their emotions but also set limits to their grief. It helps to focus on self-improvement and setting new goals.

Feeling All the Emotions

INFJs tend to go through the entire range of human emotions before finally accepting that it’s time to move on. After a week or two, they may need to change something in their life, usually something drastic, to help them move forward. INFJs should give themselves permission to feel their emotions and process their grief while always keeping an eye on the future. It’s essential for them to practice self-care and make positive changes in their life that align with their values and goals.

Breakups are never easy for INFJs because they place the highest value on deep emotional connections. An INFJ going through a breakup should remember to feel their emotions. Focusing on self-care, setting healthy boundaries, and working towards positive changes in their life can help INFJs heal and move forward. With time and self-compassion, they will be able to navigate difficult times and emerge stronger and more resilient than ever.