INFP and ISFP: Compatibility, Love, Marriage and Romance

Regarding romantic relationship compatibility, INFP and ISFP personality pairings have great potential. They are both introverts who are creative, intelligent, and deeply caring about others. This couple becomes unstoppable when they strive to use their talents to impact the world positively. 

INFPs (Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, and Perceiving) and ISFPs (Introverted, Sensing, Feeling, and Perceiving) are, in many ways, kindred spirits. They have strong personal values, are open-minded, and know who they are as people. These two are so similar that they are commonly mistyped!

Despite the similarities in their life approaches, they have significant differences. INFPs are dreamers who think of the world in an abstract, theoretical way, while ISFPs are doers who prefer action over thinking. INFPs, as a personality type, are highly emotional and spend a lot of time in their heads. ISFPs, on the other hand, are more logical and interact more with whatever is happening around them. Still, this romantic pairing can foster a healthy relationship primarily based on shared personal values and a mutual understanding’s wants and needs. 

Are INFPs and ISFPs compatible enough to be in a romantic relationship?

While two motivated personalities can make a romantic relationship work, INFPs and ISFPs may have an edge because of their similarities. Though INFPs tend to be more abstract, whereas ISFPs are concrete, they have enough in common to fully understand each other if willing.


The INFP personality type dreams of a future where everyone will live peacefully and in harmony. They tend to be very inwardly focused, feeling that, ultimately, they will gain an understanding of the world through rigorous self-reflection and evaluation. Perhaps because they spend so much time thinking and feeling on a deeper level, this intuitive type tends to struggle with anxiety and with second-guessing themselves.

Regardless, they are always willing to put their needs aside to help others.

4 Characteristics of INFPs

  1. They are socially hesitant, preferring to interact with smaller groups or in one-on-one situations at a slower pace. 
  2. They are visionaries and look for the best in people while building their ideal relationships. 
  3. INFPs are a feeling type and make decisions based on “gut instincts” and feelings rather than specific, objective facts. 
  4. INFPs flexibly live their lives, often trying to keep as many options open as possible.


ISFPs are known for their easy-going, action-oriented approach to the world. They are introverts, to be sure, and have a quiet and reserved manner. Still, they can have high energy levels at times and like to keep it moving!

Still, they are open to social interaction in a way that INFPs are not. They aren’t particularly concerned with what may happen and would prefer to live spontaneously, reacting to whatever is happening around them. The sense of fun they possess makes for successful relationship pairings. You’ll rarely catch an ISFP in a monotonous relationship! 

4 Characteristics of ISFPs

  1. Fun is more important to them than achieving goals.
  2. They have a strong sense of right and wrong.
  3. They tend to have a keen eye for observation and notice things other people do not. 
  4. They hate dealing with conflict in personal relationships.

INFPs and ISFPs in a romantic relationship will probably have mutually shared interests and moral positions. These common causes may help to keep them united and experiencing a grounded sense of balance.

4 Reasons INFPs and ISFPs would romantically mesh together

  1. They are both creative introverts who care deeply about others; their core values align. 
  2. They will tend to socialize similarly — with smaller groups in low-stress situations. 
  3. Sharing the same values and sense of direction will bring them closer together. 
  4. They both tend to be adaptable personalities who are unafraid of change.

Despite their similarities, INFPs and ISFPs have different personality approaches, mainly because of their auxiliary function differences. The INFP type is Intuitive, meaning they spend much time in their heads. On the other hand, ISFP personality types are Sensing, which means they participate more in the outside world.

4 Reasons INFPs and ISFPs might have problems in a romantic relationship

  1. INFPs will tend not to be as active as ISFPs. This difference in energy levels could frustrate them both. 
  2. They have different communication styles. An INFP tends to talk in abstractions and be non-specific, while an ISFP is usually more straightforward. 
  3. INFPs worry more about the future. In contrast, ISFPs prefer to live by the seat of their pants and do whatever makes sense at the moment. 
  4. INFPs will want to address theories, while ISFPs will be more concerned with real-world happenings.

Romance / Love / Sex

When an INFP and an ISFP romance evolves into love, will their relationship stand the test of time?

Like any two personalities, if an INFP and an ISFP want to make a long-term love relationship last, they absolutely can. However, they need to be respectful and accommodating of each other’s differences in communication styles and activity levels. Using pragmatic solutions and ways to de-escalate conflicts (avoid heated arguments) can make them an unbreakable couple. 

INFPs love the idea of romance — why wouldn’t they? They are naturally very giving and empathetic souls who also strongly desire to be truly understood by another person. A storybook romance with a happily-ever-after ending has endless appeal to them and is a common theme in their search for authentic connection.

The problem can be, however, that they idealize love so much that they may feel slightly disillusioned by the reality of a real relationship.

4 Ways an INFP might approach love

  1. They desire an intimate relationship that has a deep, two-way emotional connection. 
  2. The intensity of a relationship can feel a bit overwhelming to some partners.
  3. They want someone with the same amount of emotional openness that they possess. 
  4. They tend to focus more on how they feel today than how they may feel down the road.

Like INFPs, ISFPs would also consider themselves to be romantics. They love giving themselves to another person and having that deep connection. As introverts, they crave that one-on-one emotional connection, but they tend to be picky about romantic partners, not settling for just anyone. They usually take plenty of time and use common sense when picking a partner.

4 Ways an ISFP might approach love

  1. They tend to be shy and are not good at flirting.
  2. They generally fall for people they have a lot in common or have already known for a long time. 
  3. They do not like casual dating and tend to focus on the long-term prospects of any relationship.  
  4. It may take a while for their fondness for someone or emotional connection to turn into love.

What would cause INFPs and ISFPs to mesh well in a love relationship?

  • They are both compassionate people who care deeply about others. 
  • Both personalities fall in love with people with similar values and backgrounds. 
  • They both tend to live a relaxed, non-rigidly planned lifestyle.

These similarities in moral code, sense of consensus, and emotional integrity can make them an excellent match.

What might cause INFPs and ISFPs to have problems?

  • An INFP’s idealism about their relationship may cause frustration, especially if the INFP is unwilling to address and resolve problems. 
  • An insecure INFP might need constant reassurance from their partner, causing relationship arguments.
  • An ISFP is more active and likes to take part in the world. An INFP is more of a dreamer who wants to think about the world rather than get involved. This difference could be difficult for both to overcome. 
  • They both have an issue with direct conflict and may hesitate to handle any problems as they arise (a common communication challenge.) 

Role of Gender


Both male and female INFPs are not too concerned with conforming to society’s expectations regarding gender roles or a sense of responsibility. However, it is more difficult for males than females to fit in.

Male INFPs are introverted, emotional, and highly empathetic- the opposite of traditional male gender stereotypes. They may feel alienated from other males and some females because of their personality characteristics. They often develop a habit of trying to get along by flying under the social radar.

4 Characteristics of Male INFPs

  1. They may be embarrassed about their emotionality, especially around other men. 
  2. They are very loyal and care deeply about others. 
  3. They tend to feel misunderstood by people who don’t know them well. 
  4. When they fall in love, they fall hard.

Female INFPs don’t have as difficult of a time as their male counterparts because much of their behavior is considered feminine. They are shy but good listeners. Their emotions guide them, and they trust their intuition. Most importantly, they are very moral and caring about others.

4 Characteristics of Female INFPs

  1. They are often controlled by their emotions which can be difficult for non-emotional personalities to understand. 
  2. They may struggle with anxiety, tending to play situations over and over in their heads. 
  3. They are very loyal to their friends and family. 
  4. They tend to idealize their partners, so much so that they may be unable to see flaws that others see.


ISFPs are more concerned about living their best lives than fitting into society’s gender roles. INFPs can be the same. Their leisurely approach to living is part of what makes these personality types compatible. 

ISFP males aren’t generally concerned with playing by other people’s rules. It makes sense, then, that they barely notice whether or not they are conforming to societal gender expectations. Regardless, they naturally tend to conform to certain male stereotypes — independent, aloof, and adventurous.

4 Characteristics of Male ISFPs

  1. They may be quiet and reserved, but they are always up to participate in whatever happens around them. 
  2. They freely express their emotions but are usually in control of them. 
  3. They are very laid back and relaxed. 
  4. They tend to have a much more logical approach than INFPs.

Female ISFPs may be introverted but have little problem relating to other people. They are naturally creative and fun and up for trying almost anything. Idealistic INFPs get along well with other women but may not be as nurturing as some. Still, the future possibilities are endless for these visionaries! 

4 Characteristics of Female ISFPs

  1. They are reserved but not shy. 
  2. They do not like to flirt. 
  3. They do not tend to dwell on things that make them unhappy. 
  4. ISFPs need plenty of downtime to recharge.

Possible relationship scenarios between INFP males and ISFP females

  • An INFP male opens the door to a solicitor for charity. Not long before the emotional pitch convinces him to donate, his ISFP wife comes along and stops him. She asks the charity man a series of logical questions and quickly discovers that the charity is not all it’s cracked up to be. The couple sends him away and mutually decides to spend their charitable dollars elsewhere.
  • An INFP had a difficult day and is in one of his moods. His ISFP girlfriend used to feel helpless during these times but learned that it was best just to be there and listen to him if he needed support.

Possible relationship scenarios between INFP females and ISFP males

  • WHEN THEY FIRST STARTED DATING, an INFP female was head over heels for her ISFP boyfriend. She could see no wrong in him for many months. Now, however, she feels he doesn’t think about things as deeply as she does. He seems less serious and committed about everything than she is. She has difficulty imagining if they’ll stay together for the long term.
  • An ISFP male has a habit of going on morning jogs that follow a different path each time. Sometimes he’s gone for an hour or two, depending. His INFP wife used to get jealous of the time he was gone, feeling resentful, especially when he went on the longer jogs. She then realized how much joy this brought him and learned he wasn’t jogging to escape from her but was enjoying the time to himself. Now she happily uses his jogging time for her pursuits.



INFPs don’t make friends easily, but when they do, they usually keep them for life. They are empathetic, supportive and will go out of their way to help a friend. They also have high expectations of their friends being emotionally supportive in return and creating deeper connections. This is their approach to life.

3 Characteristics of INFP Friendships

  1. They need their friends to make an effort to understand their true selves. 
  2. They will put everything on hold if their friend needs them. 
  3. INFPs are so romantic they sometimes need their friends to point out truths they can’t see.


ISFPs may seem reserved to other people, but to their friends, they are always up for adventure. They are happy personalities who are the first ones that come up with something fun to do.

3 Characteristics of ISFP Friendships

  1. They have a live-and-let-live attitude and will not judge their friends. 
  2. They are usually friends with people for years. 
  3. They are loyal and will always be there for their friends.

Can INFPs and ISFPs be friends?

Of course, they can be friends. They are both introverts who value time together but will also give each other space.

3 Reasons why INFPs and ISFPs might mesh well together

  1. They both tend to accept others the way they are without being judgmental. 
  2. They will both work toward the goal of keeping everything happy and harmonious. 
  3. They will be loyal friends to each other.

3 Reasons why there might be potential problems in an INFP and ISFP friendship

  1. ISFPs may get overwhelmed with the emotional needs of an INFP. 
  2. An ISFP may be too spontaneous for an INFP. 
  3. The INFP’s idealism might clash with the ISFP’s realism.