You can take the Rosenberg test here if you haven’t taken it yet.
What is self-esteem?
Self-esteem is the way you see yourself. It relies on the attitude you take regarding:
- Your value as a person
- The work that you do/the job that you have
- What you accomplished till now
- What do you think people think about you
- Your purpose in life
- Your place in the world
- Your potential for success
- Your firm and your weak points
- Your social status and the way you interact with everyone else
- Your independence or autonomy or the ability to support yourself.
Other factors that are important to you can be added too.
(you can find the type of esteem that you have in the mail you received after you finished the test)
What is low self-esteem?
Low self-esteem appears when one or more of the abovementioned factors are affected, and your self-esteem is influenced.
For example, you don’t like your work, feel you don’t have a purpose in life, fail in your love life, feel lonely, etc.
What is high self-esteem?
You can say you have high self-esteem when you’re confident, sure of yourself, and pleased. That’s why you’re motivated and have the attitude that can make you succeed.
11 ideas to lift your self-esteem
Find out what your real problems are. You have to understand that the problem is not you as a person. You have problems in the outside world that need to be fixed, but that doesn’t have to influence how you see yourself. I assure you that you have great potential; you must take the road of success and perseverance.
Decide what you can control and what you cannot. A significant discouragement comes from man’s desire to change or control what can not be changed or controlled. To try to make people feel what they don’t feel or do what they don’t want to do is a failed policy. If someone doesn’t like you, it’s his loss. Don’t let it get to you.
Accept the responsibility. To fully trust yourself, you need to take responsibility for what you can change in your life. How you interact with the people around you, how your love relations go, your professional success, and how you handle your emotions all fall to you. Educate yourself and evolve. Grow, and your self-esteem will grow too.
Any mistake is an opportunity to get reborn and start again, but this time a lot better. Don’t make a tragedy out of a failure. Success is a long line of failures that end well.
The only one you’re competing with is yourself; you don’t have to prove anything to the people around you. If you were gaining 100 euros per year last year and this year you’re gaining 100 euros, then that’s a huge personal victory. Don’t worry about the people making 100 thousand euros per year. Everyone has his path in life, and we all need to learn our lessons. If you persevere, you’re bound to get what you want.
Be an ambitious person. When you set goals, be realistic but optimistic at the same time. Have the courage to dream because dreams are the material from which outstanding accomplishments are constructed. Look into the future and see what you want to be like and what you want to have. Then never stop trying to get there; take it one day at a time. And VERY IMPORTANTLY, follow your dreams, not someone else’s dream.
Think and talk positively. Don’t let your mind get poisoned by negativism. Don’t think about what isn’t possible, but what is possible, not what you don’t want, but what you want.
Invest in your personal growth. It’s the best investment you’ll ever make. You are investing in yourself.
Be aware of the messages in mass media. Their purpose is to inspire fear and lower your self-esteem so that you can buy what they have for sale.
ENTOURAGE. It is vital in your evolution. Make a group of friends that share your dreams, that are positive, and have faith in your abilities. Do anything to enter their entourage, and many great things will happen in your life.
Critique: Remind people that if you want their opinion, you’ll ask for it. Sometimes you owe an answer to some critics, but you never owe them your self-confidence.
To keep in mind:
- Self-confidence is the foundation without which you cannot enjoy success in any aspect of your life.
- Self-confidence comes as a result of your experiences, your failures, and the lessons you’ve learned.
- There is no failure, just lessons learned.
- Perseverance is almighty.
- Courage is essential, and anyone can be courageous.
- The way that one thinks influences every cell of a human being. Be careful what you think, as your thoughts, whether good or bad, are sure to materialize.
External circumstances and day-to-day occurrences have very little influence on your self-esteem. You don’t spend that much time and energy upholding or promoting your image. You’re stable from an emotional point of view; you maintain coherence in your statements and your conduct, regardless if the context is favorable or not. Your state of being is a lot more temperate than that of a person with high self-esteem but unstable. High and stable self-esteem is solid and resistant. You don’t always question your worth. You can accept not being in control of a situation without feeling inferior or disadvantaged.
b) High and unstable
Although high, your self-esteem can suffer major blows, especially in a competitive or destabilizing context. In such situations, you quickly react to critique and failure, which you perceive as a threat, and you immediately try to come out of it by showing off your successes and qualities. You feel vulnerable, assaulted, and doubt your capacities when you are in hostile situations or criticized. A person with high and stable self-esteem perceives critical remarks rationally. In contrast, a person with high self-esteem but unstable will perceive the critiques at an emotional level and will focus a lot on self-promoting.
a) Low and unstable
Your self-esteem is sensible and reactive to exterior stimuli, whether positive or negative. As a consequence of satisfaction and success, your self-esteem goes through moments in which it is higher than usual. Nevertheless, these progresses are often unstable, and your self-esteem is reduced as soon as you face difficulties. Consequently, you work hard to give yourself and the people around you a better status. You’re eager to improve your condition and emotional status; you’re constantly worrying about not making mistakes and getting rejected.
b) Low and stable
If you have this type of self-esteem, you’re barely influenced by outside events, even favorable ones. You invest almost no time improving your image or self-esteem, which level you accept and somewhat handle. The presence of a social status lacks importance, not giving you incense to illustrate your qualities for others to see. As to the causes of this type of self-esteem, besides the arguments stipulated above, we can add a few specific differences between low and unstable self-esteem. For example, some events cause a child to get the feeling of no control over anything that is going on around him, like death or the manifestation of depression in one of his parents. Of course, major affective disorders can intervene here, too; other pathological manifestations can accompany self-esteem disorders.