Drawing of man on knee with heart in hand talking to a woman. In love.

INFP and INFJ Relationships: Compatibility, Love, and Friendship

Quick Compatibility Overview

Overall, INFPs and INFJs are compatible and could be good in a relationship. Both are introverted feeling types and caring nurturers who passionately think about their values. Several common themes run through these personality types. However, INFPs tend to live unstructured and free-spirited lives, whereas INFJs need organization and goals to feel fulfilled. This is where things get tricky.

Put these two types together, and they have the potential to drive each other crazy, so even though they can be very compatible, there may also be bumps in the road, and they will need to learn to live with their differences. Keep reading to find out if and how these two have a good shot at a strong connection and healthy relationship.


INFP and INFJ Compatibility

Are INFPs and INFJs Compatible Enough to Be in a Romantic Relationship?

5 INFP Personality Type Characteristics

  1. They are nurturing, caring, and supportive but are prone to chronic stress.
  2. They’re endlessly optimistic and believe there’s good in everybody.
  3. They are free-spirited, flexible, and content to go with the flow of life.
  4. They need alone time since they are introduced.
  5. It’s accurate that they have a creative outlet.

INFJs are empathetic idealists who are quiet but creative, with a slight rigidity to how they approach life.

5 INFJ Personality Type Characteristics

  1. They possess intellectual curiosities and are creative.
  2. They have a deep concern about doing what is right.
  3. They’re goal-oriented and prefer working within a structured situation.
  4. They are deeply empathetic, and their introverted intuition makes them terrific listeners.
  5. In certain areas, they can be perfectionists.

After considering both personality characteristics, it’s easy to imagine an INFP type and an INFJ type hitting it off romantically. What makes these personality types compatible? These intuitive types seem to be cut from the same cloth. They want a meaningful connection and a happy relationship more than anything. This could make a solid romantic match and strong relationships in general.

Compatibility: 6 Reasons Why an INFJ and INFP Relationship Could Work

  1. They both want a deep emotional connection and committed relationship in their lives.
  2. They both despise injustice and can’t tolerate bullying or cruelty.
  3.  They prefer a simple social life, having a small circle of friends rather than going to parties.
  4. They enjoy all things artsy and cultural and have a similar pace of life.
  5. They are not materialistic and find value in ideas and caring connections.
  6. They are drawn to the same people — thoughtful, artistic, romantic, authentic connections.

Regardless of their similarities, in day-to-day life, difficulties may arise. INFPs and INFJs have very different ways of organizing their lives, so much so that it could lead to friction in a relationship that needs harmony.

INFJ and INFP Relationship Conflict: 6 Reasons for Possible Love Problems

  1. Because both personalities hate to make the first move, the relationship may never get started in the first place.
  2. INFJs tend to be tidier and more organized than INFPs, which could lead to resentment on both sides.
  3. INFJs are goal-oriented and could view an INFP personality type’s lackadaisical attitudes as lazy or unmotivated.
  4. Both personalities are passionate about their values, so if they are complex, they agree to disagree.
  5. They both hate conflict and thus may be reluctant to address any issues in the relationship.
  6. They could get jealous of each other’s strengths. An INFJ may feel upstaged by the easy-going INFP. The INFP may resent an INFJ’s quick decision-making.

To see more about the differences between INFPs and INFJs, check out the article INFP vs INFJ.

INFJ and INFP Compatibility in Love / Sex / Romance

bride and groom both with "i do" signs
INFPs and INFJs could be very compatible on many levels, but they would need to focus on core values and keep their emotions in check if things ever went off course for a while.

At first glance, an INFP seems like an ideal romantic partner. They’re so caring and loving; who could resist their charms? Strong relationships tend to build on actual values and an understanding of love languages. Here are some facts about INFP and INFJ pair in personality typing.

INFP Personality Type in Love: The INFP Love Language

  1. They’re lighthearted and flirtatious when interested in someone romantically.
  2. They’ll require significant quality time to keep those fires burning.
  3. They may have difficulty verbalizing their deepest feelings.
  4. They are patient and will go the extra mile to please their partner.
  5. If you hear an “I love you” from an INFP, take it seriously. They don’t often verbalize such emotion.

INFJs are also very appealing as romantic partners. They are capable of intense love and devotion, not to mention they’ll always be the ideal shoulder to cry on. Their style of communication and idealistic nature usually leads to successful relationships.

INFJ Personality Type in Love: The INFJ Love Language

  1. They feel a deep spiritual and emotional connection to those that they love romantically.
  2. They place a high value on spending quality time with their loved ones.
  3. They are very wise about their partner’s needs.
  4. When involved in a relationship, they enjoy being physically affectionate.
  5. Their compliments are well thought out and carry deep meaning.

A physical relationship between an INFP and INFJ personality would likely be intense. First of all, they wouldn’t even be together if they could not fully trust and love each other, so given that those emotions are in play, they would be completely open to one another. Each would be extraordinarily attuned to the other’s desires and strive to make them happy.

Physical infatuation can only last so long, however. Not everything between INFP partners and INFJs will stay rosy, as in all relationships. Bear in mind because their emotions guide each personality, sometimes there is no one to act as the “rational one” in the relationship. Instead of one of them stepping back and evaluating what the real problems may be, their emotions will snowball unnecessarily into a dramatic puddle of hurt feelings.

Similarly, INFPs and INFJs tendinitis over minor issues until they become significant, at least in one of their minds. If this happens too often, it could get exhausting for the couple. It can also lead to depleting energy levels and chronic stress.

Still, the deep level of this compatible pair often leads to a thriving relationship with a spiritual connection that is out of this world.


The Role of Gender in an INFJ / INFP Relationship

Along with their personality types, gender expectations and stereotypes faced by INFPs and INFJs can affect relationship compatibility.

Most INFP guys do not fit neatly within society’s gender expectations and often possess what are considered to be traits associated with females. They are sensitive introverts who don’t usually try to compete with or dominate others. They prefer quiet conversation over boisterous activity and will avoid most confrontations. These factors can affect how an INFP male will interact within relationships.

4 Ways That INFP Males Differ From the Stereotypical Male

  1. An INFP male is emotional and extremely sensitive and prefers deep connection.
  2. They may have grown up not being “manly,” so they may feel like outsiders their entire lives.
  3. They do not like conflict. Perhaps it’s their empathetic nature and need for internal harmony.
  4. They are sensitive and thoughtful people who can be devastated by breakups, much more so than other personality types.

It is considered normal for females to be emotional, sensitive, and caring, so the female INFP doesn’t immediately stand out from other women. However, their personalities are a little more nuanced if you dig deeper.

4 Ways That INFP Females Are Unique Among Women

  1. INFPs can feel awkward and self-conscious in social situations, particularly with other women. They may also have trouble reading social cues.
  2. They may be hesitant to form relationships with women because they are used to being judged unfavorably by them.
  3. They can sometimes feel more connected to men than women.
  4. Women are expected to be emotional, but INFPs can have a very dynamic nature that is sometimes even volatile.

Like their INFP counterparts, male INFJs’ behavior doesn’t conform to traditional macho stereotypes.

4 Ways INFJ Males Are Unique Among Men

  1. They place a high value on artistic beauty.
  2. They do not like to be the center of attention in their circle of friends.
  3. Often, they relate better to women than to men.
  4. They prefer quiet time at home instead of being out watching sports with the guys.

INFJ women have warm, empathetic hearts. Still, they possess some characteristics that aren’t typical of women in general.

4 Ways INFJ Females Are Unique Among Women

  1. INFJ girls need lots of time alone their entire lives.
  2. In social situations, they tend to be withdrawn.
  3. An INFJ girl may be underestimated as being nurturing and nothing more.
  4. An INFJ girl tends to have interests and hobbies that are not typical of other women.

When an INFP and an INFJ personality type get into a relationship, it’s essential to consider the role gender dynamics will play.


Gender Combinations

INFP Male and INFJ Female: 4 Possible Relationship Scenarios 

  1. For the first time, the INFJ girl might feel that someone understands her. He’s not doing anything special to make her feel that way. He’s just his usual, caring INFP self.
  1. While both partners are dreamy and romantic, the INFJ female might be more down-to-earth and practical than her INFP beau. This could lead to some tension, especially if she complains and is too critical of her INFP man for not being enough like her.
  1. If the couple shares a living space, her INFJ heart would prefer things to be neat and orderly, while he would barely notice what the place looks like. Consequently, he’d be surprised by her irritation at him for not cleaning up.
  1. He might feel that she can’t understand the easy-going way he does things and that her expectations of him are too high. She might think he was lazy and needed a goal or project to reach his full potential.

INFJ Male and INFP Female: 4 Possible Relationship Scenarios

  1. The beginning of the relationship is emotionally intense and deeply satisfying for both parties. They will be sure they’ve finally found their true soul mates and work toward an authentic life together.
  1. While the INFP woman never worries about what’s next for them as a couple, he’s always trying to anticipate the future. Sometimes they can talk about it, but this difference in perspective can irritate both of them.
  1. The INFJ guy can sometimes get impatient with his INFP girl’s emotional volatility. When he does, she feels judged and quietly steams in anger to herself. If this happens often enough, she’ll finally go off, and he’ll withdraw, wondering what to do.
  1. The INFJ male can at first be so enamored by a female INFP’s emotional and sensitive side that he overlooks other parts of her personality that are not quite as compatible with his. This realization may lead to a reevaluation of the relationship.


INFJ INFP Friendship

two friends taking selfie
Both INFJs and INFPs like friends for life.

No one holds friendship more sacred than INFPs and INFJs. To them, companies are rare enough that when they happen for real, they’re friends for life. Being their friend, however, offers unique blessings and challenges.

INFPs are typically only friends with a few carefully selected people. They choose their circles of friends very carefully. When you meet them, they are extraordinarily cautious about revealing too much of themselves and thus tend to take any new relationships slower than others might.

4 Things to Know About an INFP’s Approach to Friendships

  1. They prefer having a few trustworthy friends rather than a bunch of casual, shallow friendships.
  2. They adore deep, meaningful conversations with their friends but sometimes lack personal boundaries.
  3. Because of their empathy superpowers, they don’t like selfish people who take but don’t give to a friendship.
  4. When their fantasy of a friendship doesn’t jibe with reality, they can have difficulty accepting it.

Just like INFPs, INFJs take their friendships very seriously. They are much more comfortable hanging out with trusted friends than being stifled by a large, chaotic group.

5 Things to Know About an INFJ’s Approach to Friendships

  1. They rarely make the first move to become someone’s friend.
  2. Once you are close to an INFJ, you are pretty much a friend for life.
  3. They’re the kind of friends that can be called at all-night hours and are willing and happy to listen.
  4. They must have their alone time respected.


Can INFPs and INFJs Be Friends?

INFPs and INFJs can be great friends. After a lifetime of being misunderstood by others, they will be thrilled to find someone who understands so many facets of their personality. Ideally, they will realize that despite their commonalities, potential pitfalls in how they relate to one another may eventually develop. If they can communicate to resolve misunderstandings or hurt feelings, they can have fulfilling, strong relationships.

3 Reasons Why INFJs and INFPs Will Mesh as Friends

  1. They both understand the need for creativity.
  2. They both have similar socializing styles.
  3. They both need alone time and will give each other plenty of space.

3 Reasons There Could Be Problems with an INFP and INFJ Friendship

  1. They will both try to avoid any conflicts so that problems may fester.
  2. They’re both super sensitive, and either one might begin to imagine that there are problems when there aren’t any.
  3. These personalities tend to take offense easily, and their unwillingness to discuss it might create a rift.

So the takeaway is that whether it’s a friendship or a romantic relationship, INFPs and INFJs have the potential to be a great match. They will, however, need to work together, be aware of their flaws and make sure they have open communication between the two to nip any misunderstandings or overreactions in the bud.