INFJ and ENFP: Compatibility, Love, Marriage, and Romance

The energetic, outgoing ENFP and the more reserved, introverted INFJ may seem like a mismatched pair at first glance, but this couple has great potential for long-term happiness. Shared values and a common taste for excitement mean the INFJ/ENFP couple has plenty in common upon which to build a strong bond.

Overall Compatibility of INFJ and ENFP

The INFJ/ENFP relationship has an excellent chance of long-term success. Both highly empathetic personalities, the INFJ and ENFP, are unlikely to experience undue conflict in their relationship.

With a shared focus on humanitarian values and a mutual love of adventure, the INFJ/ENFP couple will likely find they enjoy some, if not many, of the same activities. Both personality types value deep connection and take their relationships seriously, which bodes well for long-term mutual fulfillment.

Summary Chart: INFJ & ENFP Compatibility vs. Possible Conflicts

Compatibility Possible Conflicts
Shared love of adventure Shared tendency to overlook details for the “big picture”
Both value intimate connections INFJ’s indecisiveness
Both are highly empathetic ENFP’s directness seems inconsiderate
Intuitive understanding of the world Extroversion vs. introversion leads to disagreements over how to spend time

Three Reasons Why INFJ and ENFP Relationship Can Go Well

Considering how much these personality types have in common, it should be no surprise that these two types can be good for one another. INFJs and ENFPs are often good for one another in the following ways:

  • Both are strong in empathy
  • They both work towards personal growth
  • They each want to understand the other

A shared love of personal growth is something the INFJ/ENFP couple is likely to bond over. Couples that grow together have an ever-expanding library of common experiences upon which to draw, bringing them that much closer together.

The INFJ and ENFP both feel a need to understand their romantic partner deeply. This, combined with the pair’s shared empathy, makes this relationship likely to be healthy and rewarding.

Three Reasons Why an INFJ and ENFP Relationship Can Go Bad

  • Different communication styles
  • Both tend to overlook details
  • Different views about organization

The ENFP and INFJ have somewhat different communicative styles, with the ENFP being far more expressive. While this doesn’t spell certain disaster for the ENFP/INFJ couple, a lack of awareness of the potential pitfalls can lead to misunderstanding and conflict.

The INFJ and ENFP tend to focus on the overall picture, sometimes at the expense of small but important details. Conflict is likely to ensue if a lack of attention to the little things leads to enough disappointment.

ENFP types have a higher tolerance for disorganization than INFJs. When an INFJ and an ENFP share a physical space, this can lead to conflict. The INFJ often finds themselves picking up the slack, doing more of the household chores than their counterpart; needless to say, this can lead to resentment.


Despite somewhat different approaches to communicating, the INFJ/ENFP pairing is likely to enjoy harmony in most of their interpersonal communication. The ENFP and INFJ are both intuitive feeling types, highly empathetic, and desirous of peace in their relationships.

Because both partners share this desire for low-conflict communication and are willing to try and see things from the perspective of the other, the INFJ/ENFP relationship has an unusually good chance of getting past any communication issues that arise.

Where are they Strong, and Why?

INFJs and ENFPs tend to think and communicate in the abstract; both are likely to enjoy conversing about subjects like philosophy, art, the progress of science, and literature. Because both types enjoy discussing ideas and their thoughts on subjects, the ENFP and INFJ are likely to find one another stimulating conversationalists.

Where do they have Problems, and Why?

In conversation, there’s the potential for the expressive ENFP to overwhelm the more reticent INFJ, monopolizing the conversation instead of giving their partner a chance to talk. Conversely, the more methodical INFJ takes more time to formulate and think through responses, often frustrating the ENFP.

Because both types tend to focus on the big picture, the couple may overlook important details when making plans. While this may not cause a conflict immediately, it can potentially lead to disappointment, neglect, and mutual resentment.

How might INFJ and ENFP Improve Communication?

Overall, communication is not likely to be a significant problem in an INFJ/ENFP relationship. There are things each partner can be aware of that might facilitate even more harmonious communication between the two.

The ENFP should know that not every silence needs to be broken. Lapses in conversation can be uncomfortable, particularly early on in any relationship, so it is somewhat natural for the ENFP to want to keep the conversation going. Contrary to their first instinct, they’re often better served by giving their partner time to process and offer an answer.

For their part, the INFJ, who is often comfortable letting their ENFP partner carry the majority of most conversations, needs to understand that their more expressive partner may see their mere listening as a lack of participation.

Where do INFJ and ENFP Connect, and Why?

INFJs and ENFPs have plenty of common ground to connect and potentially form mutually satisfying long-term relationships.

Since they are both idealistic and highly empathetic, INFJs and ENFPs are likely to connect over their shared desire to help others and make the world better. They also both crave adventure, with little tolerance for the mundane. As such, they’re likely to share new and meaningful experiences, deepening their connection.

INFJ and ENFP: Values

Both partners in an INFJ/ENFP relationship will likely take their values quite seriously. Fortunately, though they may disagree on small things, INFJs, and ENFPs often find they agree on at least most of the important ones.

3 Things an INFJ Values

  1. Structured stability
  2. Deep interpersonal connection
  3. Having time to help others

Unlike their ENFP counterpart, INFJs place a high value on structure and stability. While this could potentially lead to conflict, in a healthy INFJ/ENFP relationship, each partner will make the other a bit less rigid in their thinking.

Deep connections with friends and intimate partners is something INFJs value highly. They may be reticent to strike up a conversation, but the ultimate goal of the INFJ is to know people on more than just a surface level.

The thing INFJs value most is other people and their feelings. Service to others is such a fundamental part of their value system that many INFJs gravitate toward service fields, such as healthcare and education.

3 Things an ENFP Values

  1. Flexibility
  2. Helping others
  3. Self-development

Unlike their INFJ partner, the ENFP values flexibility in their schedule and the freedom to make last-minute changes to their plans. This is a cause of possible conflict between the partners, though their highly empathetic natures mean they are likely to find common ground in this area.

The ENFP, like their INFJ counterpart, places a very high value on people and their feelings. They see service to others as an integral part of existence and, like their INFJ counterparts, are likely to find themselves in fields reflecting those values.

Self-development and personal growth are essential to the ENFP; fortunately, these qualities are highly valued by INFJs too. The INFJ/ENFP couple is likely to participate in activities that broaden their horizons as a couple and as individuals. Attending the theater, concerts, taking classes together, and visiting museums are all likely to be enjoyable activities for this intellectually and culturally curious pair.

How do their Values Match Up?

Generally speaking, INFJ’s and ENFP’s values match up very well. The areas where they are likely to experience differences in values are ultimately minor. Both partners place an incredibly high value on other people, which is always an area where the couple can form a lasting bond.

Love Language/Love Style

Ways INFJs Show Their Love

Some of the ways INFJs commonly show their love include:

  1. Devoting quality time to their partner
  2. Words of affirmation
  3. Acts of Service

As introverts, INFJs require a significant amount of time alone to ruminate and rejuvenate. Therefore, time is at a premium for the INFJ, and the mere act of spending that precious time with someone is a show of love. As intuitive feelers, INFJs also show love through words of affirmation and acts of service.

Ways ENFPs Show Their Love

  1. Words of affirmation
  2. Giving gifts
  3. Physical touch

As expressive people, ENFPs show their love primarily in active ways. Acts of service are one-way ENFPs are likely to show affection, but their top three love languages are physical touch, gift-giving, and words of affirmation.

ENFPs take their primary relationships very seriously and desire them to be harmonious. They show love and appreciation for their partners with spontaneous words of love, physical touch, and thoughtful surprise gifts.

INFJ and ENFP in Bed

As both are desirous of deep and meaningful connections with their partner, both members of an INFJ/ENFP relationship will likely see sex as far more than a pleasurable physical activity. Instead, they’ll see it as a chance to deepen and reinforce their mutual bond.

The introverted INFJ may be reluctant to let their adventurous nature expression in the bedroom, at least at first. Given both partners’ distaste for the mundane, there’s a better-than-average chance an ENFP/INFJ pairing will enjoy an exciting, mutually fulfilling sex life.

So to summarize, for an ENFP and an INFP in bed, both individuals value deep connections and see sex as an opportunity to strengthen their bond. Although the INFJ might initially be reserved, both partners’ desire for a non-mundane experience suggests they could have a fulfilling and adventurous intimate life.

INFJ and ENFP Couples/Marriage

INFJ Female and ENFP Male

This couple has good potential for long-term happiness. As long as the ENFP male isn’t impatient with his more deliberate INFJ partner, and the INFJ female doesn’t feel smothered by her more expressive counterpart, there’s every chance this couple will experience mutual satisfaction in their partner.

INFJ Male and ENFP Female

Like its converse, the INFJ male/ENFP female relationship has the potential to be a beautiful and mutually satisfying one. In this relationship, there’s a danger the ENFP female may find her INFJ partner’s indecisiveness off-putting. The ENFP needs to remember that her INFJ counterpart isn’t necessarily indecisive just because he prefers to take time for consideration before making a choice.

On the other hand, there’s a chance the reticent INFJ may feel bulldozed by his ENFP partner. Understanding the differences between personality types makes these issues far from fatal.

INFJ and ENFP Conflicts

No relationship is spared conflict, and while the INFJ/ENFP relationship is generally harmonious, several differences in personality could potentially lead to conflict.

Possible Areas of Conflict (and Why)

When conflict does arise between partners in an INFJ/ENFP relationship, it usually happens for one of the following reasons:

  • Different tolerances for disorder
  • Scheduling conflicts
  • Incapacity for working out small issues

As INFJs and ENFPs have different tolerances for disorganization and disorder, the state of their shared physical space is often a cause for disharmony. The more ordered INFJ is likely to find themselves doing most of the housework and chores. Over time, this can cause resentment to fester and grow.

INFJs and ENFPs also have different perspectives regarding schedules. The spontaneous ENFP can feel confined by their partner’s need to schedule everything. Conversely, the INFJ may see their ENFP counterpart as unfocused and perhaps even irresponsible.

Being highly empathetic and desirous of harmony, INFJs and ENFPs may be hit particularly hard by conflict when it rears its head. Accustomed to relatively smooth sailing, the prospect of disharmony may initially seem catastrophic to this couple.

How do INFJ and ENFP Resolve Conflict?

Fortunately for those in an INFJ/ENFP relationship, both of these personality types are highly empathetic. When confronted with conflict, both partners are likely to be willing to try and understand their counterpart’s point of view.

INFJs and ENFPs are adept at coming up with creative ways to overcome interpersonal conflict. This likewise stands them in good stead when facing the occasional bump in the road.

How do INFJ and ENFP Build Trust?

ENFPs value honesty and authenticity in a relationship. Because of this, they aren’t likely to trust anyone too soon. But since they are generally very open people, ENFPs are less likely to have trust issues than many other personality types.

Trust can prove more fragile for an INFJ. Past relationship trauma can cause INFJs to become reticent to trust again. Like ENFPs, INFJs don’t offer their trust too quickly and are likely to rescind it early in a relationship if they feel betrayed.

Being personality types that value deep connections, ENFPs and INFJs build trust over time.

ENFP and INFJ Friendships

With their similarities in values and a shared love of abstract conversation, ENFPs and INFJs have the potential to be good friends. They also share a love of adventure, so they’ll likely share new experiences, strengthening their friendship.

INFJ vs. ENFP: Approach to Friendship

ENFPs tend to be supportive and encouraging when it comes to their friends. ENFPs are always eager to engage in deep conversation because they enjoy thinking abstractly and because it helps them learn more about their friend.

Active and adventurous by nature, ENFPs may have friendships based solely on shared interests, but this is rare. The intuitive, feeling ENFP desires deep connection with their friends, not just casual interaction.

The introverted INFJ may find it harder to make that initial connection, but once they do, they’re eager to learn about what drives their new friend and whether or not they can trust them. Like the ENFP, INFJs are supportive friends, though they may be more hesitant to show trust initially.

INFJ and ENFP Friendship Dynamics

The INFJ/ENFP friendship has the potential to be a mutually rewarding one, as each approaches the world at different speeds, so to speak. The more flexible ENFP can help the INFJ to be less rigid in their plans. Conversely, the INFJ can help the ENFP see the value in a greater degree of structure in their lives.

What Makes INFJ and ENFP Good for Each Other as Friends?

Both INFJs and ENFPs value authenticity in relationships, enjoy conversations about the abstract, and are passionate about helping others. These mutually reinforcing traits make the INFJ and ENFP good for one another as friends, but it is perhaps their differences that truly make them a good pair.

For example, different needs regarding the amount of social activity each desire can be beneficial to both friends. The introspective INFJ will be encouraged by their ENFP friend to be more social, while at the same time, the INFJ reminds the ENFP that ceaseless activity can be detrimental to one’s psychological health.

Could they be Close Friends?

Given all they have in common, there’s no reason INFJs and ENFPs can’t enjoy a rewarding long-term friendship. As both desire meaningful connections with others, INFJs and ENFPs are likely to form close friendship bonds with people they feel they can trust.

What are some areas that Might Cause INFJ and ENFP Problems as Friends?

All friendships require some work, and an INFJ/ENFP friendship is no exception. To have a rewarding long-term friendship, there are a few significant hurdles these two have to jump.

As mentioned previously, ENFPs and INFJs have different needs regarding social activity. Without a measure of understanding between the two, an ENFP may misinterpret their INFJ friend’s need for time alone. On the other side of the coin, the INFJ may feel exhausted by their friend’s social expectations.

INFJs and ENFPs, being very attached to their values, sometimes have difficulty “agreeing to disagree.” This can be problematic, as no two people agree on everything. Partners in an INFJ/ENFP friendship will have to be willing to set aside minor differences of opinion, even when they concern questions of value.