ESTP and INFP: Compatibility, Love, Marriage, and Romance

Drawn together like magnets, the ESTP and INFP personality types are compatible when they work together to create a healthy relationship. An introverted feeling type, INFPs can bring an emotional connection to the ESTP’s logical thinking. ESTPs can infuse a sense of fun into the INFP’s daily life lifestyle.

In personal relationships, ESTP and INFP are two personality types that are often drawn to one another. This is the case even though they have different backgrounds, proving that opposites attract. Unfortunately, they aren’t always considered to be compatible. Nevertheless, there are a few common themes that develop when people with an ESTP personality type enter into a relationship with someone with an INFP personality.

Overall Compatibility

Although there is a great deal of attraction, ESTP and INFP personality types are not prone to having success in romantic relationships. But as always, there are exceptions to the rule. What can make these two personality types compatible? In essence, mutual understanding. Having a greater understanding of the other person’s personality makeup can make it easier to make changes that improve the relationship and make it easier to grow together. Future possibilities between these two are endless.

Compatibility Possible Conflicts
Both are Perceiving personalities ESTPs have more direct communication styles
Both are OK with last-minute scheduling ESTPs are outgoing whereas INFPs are more reserved
Neither is overwhelmed by disorganization INFPs are more sensitive
Both value connection and place importance on their relationships INFPs are deep feelers whereas ESTPs are geared toward logical thinking
They share a drive for freedom INFPs are more creative and need plenty of time for abstract ideas
Both have depth and imagination ESTPs focus on the present while INFPs focus on the future.

ESTP Personality Traits

Individuals with ESTP personality types are known to be highly likable and are often leaders. These types of individuals are known as explorers. They’re prone to be popular and are naturally extroverted, which causes them to have a lot of different relationships in their lives.

ESTPs rarely appear awkward or out of place and have a strong effect on people whenever they walk into a room. They often crave a feeling of energy and can prefer to have a daring or scary experience rather than a boring or predictable one. Their energy levels are usually high and like to be involved in a lot of social activities.

Social stimulation is usually important to an ESTP, and lack of it can make for a boring relationship in their eyes. This is why the best pair in personality typing for an ESTP is usually someone with a sense of adventure.

Additional personality traits:

  • Passionate
  • Energetic
  • Fun
  • Warm
  • Extroverted and social

They usually dislike household chores and monotonous tasks. Instead, ESTPs would rather be doing something more fun, like bungee jumping, boxing, or team sports. For this reason, their ideal relationship is with someone who is also adventurous.

INFP Personality Traits

Those with an INFP personality type are known to take on a mediator role and are prone to being more introverted in real life. They make up approximately 4% of the population and are a rarer personality type.

INFPs are often driven by their high values and have a tendency to be creative. They also have a lot of passions and strong interests and want to make a difference in the world. INFPs are known as empaths and have a strong sense of self. Decisions in life are usually made based on their emotional nature. Common sense can go out the window when it comes to INFPs (intuitive feeling type), and yet their personal values seem to lead them to the right choices.

A personality questionnaire usually shows these additional personality traits for INFPs:

  • Introvertive
  • Creative
  • Idealistic
  • Strong interests and passions
  • Solid personal values
  • Compassionate and empathetic

Are they compatible?

The lack of compatibility between these two personality types can reduce the likelihood of success. In most cases, both people can bond over a common interest, causing them that they have similar personalities or passions. However, it can become more challenging to maintain the connection as they find it increasingly difficult to feel understood or understand their significant other.

Fortunately, ESTPs and INFPs still have the ability to get along and live in harmony with one another. They have to communicate their different views and have patience as they understand the perspective of their partners. They also have to understand each other’s love languages (e.g., quality time) and the need for deep connection whether it be an emotional connection or intellectual connection.

Here are five ways ESTPs and INFPs are compatible:

  1. Both personalities help each other to consider different perspectives and think outside of the box.
  2. They enjoy spending time with people and making connections on a deep level.
  3. Although they may enjoy spending time in different types of environments, they both enjoy quality time, which is one of their love languages.
  4. They’re both devoted and committed to their intimate relationships.
  5. Both parties work hard to fix their mistakes.


When an ESTP is in a relationship with an INFP, it won’t take long to discover several challenges that can develop with communication. Both personalities naturally communicate in different ways and differ in their sensitivity levels. Their approach to life can also be varied. Effective communication between the two can be difficult, but it can also be a saving grace. When these two mix practical solutions with honest communication, an excellent match is made.

How do ESTPs communicate?

Those with an ESTP personality are likely to communicate through logical thinking and expression. They listen with patience and enjoy hearing stories. As active communicators, ESTPs can persuade their partners with how they talk.

Unfortunately, they’re also more prone to offending other people due to their honesty and how blunt they are when they communicate their opinions and ideas. ESTPs want to achieve solutions when they’re talking to their partner. This can lead to heated arguments within an INFP – ESTP Relationship.

How do INFPs communicate?

INFP individuals are skilled in communicating with people with different personality types. Unfortunately, those with an INFP personality can occasionally come off as distant and reserved, which can make it difficult for other people to open up and remain vulnerable.

INFPs and ESTPs have different perceiving functions. ESTPs can find it challenging to make a connection with INFPs due to the intuitive and feeling nature of the other personality type. This is because ESTPs struggle to lead conversations that are more about emotions and feelings. They want pragmatic solutions. So, they’re prone to keeping conversations brief, and they focus on topics that don’t require vulnerability or a lot of depth.

How might they improve communication?

Those with an ESTP personality trait can improve their ability to communicate by expressing their feelings and remaining vulnerable. They also should work to improve their ability to keep the conversation going and remain tactful. They should attempt to avoid superficially improving their engagement with their significant other.

INFPs can improve their communication skills by learning how to ask other people how they’re doing instead of primarily talking about themselves and their needs. Learning to ask other people what they need can become easier by practicing and learning that it takes time.

They can start by discussing one of their needs and then asking the other person if they need the same thing. INFPs can start by talking about themselves but turn the focus on the other person.

ESTPs should provide INFPs with space when they are working through conflict to ensure their partner has time to process their feelings and emotions. In the same regard, INFPs need to provide their partners with a timeframe on when they’ll resume the conversation to ensure it can get resolved.

Over time, a system can be established that allows them to learn how to approach conflict and how to change their speech to ensure their partner feels respected and listened to until the issue is resolved.

Here are some additional techniques for improving communication:

  • ESTPs should slow down and choose their words carefully to avoid hurting or offending the INFP
  • INFPs should learn how to be more direct and upfront with what they are trying to communicate
  • ESTPs should avoid rushing the conversation or trying to resolve it too quickly
  • INFPs should try to provide concrete examples (logical thinking) and avoid dragging the conversation on
  • ESTPs should consider the needs of the other person instead of only being factual and practical
  • ESTPs should plan ahead to ensure they can follow through on a commitment or task following the conversation
  • INFPs should share a view of the big picture instead of being hung up on their emotions

ESTP and INFP Couples

Couples with ESTP and INFP personality types must learn how to build trust to make the INFP – ESTP relationship strong. ESTPs must practice appreciating the creative ideas of their INFP partner while allowing them to work independently. It’s also necessary for ESTPs to be gentle when they give advice or feedback to avoid offending the other person. If they can accomplish this, it can become an element of compatibility.

INFPs have to work on suppressing their strong emotional reactions, which can push ESTPs away. They should also learn how to share their ideas and thoughts while remaining rational openly.

What are some of the challenges in romantic relationships?

One of the most common challenges for ESTP and INFP couples is learning how to agree on how they spend their time. ESTPs are more drawn to loud, busy settings where large groups of people are present. They thrive in environments where they can get to know new people and can get attention.

INFPs are not always comfortable in this type of setting and can prefer to sit at home or spend time with a small group of close friends.

Learning how to compromise with one another is crucial to be capable of spending time together in different types of settings. There may be a few nights of the week that are set apart for staying at home or spending time with a close group of friends. There should also be a few days that appeal to the ESTP partner and allow them to enjoy a faster pace setting where they can get a boost of energy.

How can both personalities contribute to the relationship?

The ESTP personality type will need to learn how to be content in settings where they’re prone to feeling bored and don’t have enough stimulation. Similarly, INFPs should learn how to develop more confidence in new settings where there are unfamiliar faces.

Although these two personality types are polar opposites, there are still a few similarities that allow them to connect and grow in their relationship. Both personality types desire freedom and don’t like to feel limited or restrained. This allows them to feel free and happy around one another. It can also make the relationship strong.

Both personalities also don’t like repetition, which helps them to learn how to try new activities and hobbies, which makes the relationship more fun and exciting.

How can ESTPs be made to feel loved and appreciated?

While in a relationship with an ESTP, it’s possible to make them feel loved and appreciated by scheduling adventurous dates together. Spending time in outdoor settings is a great way to help the ESTP personality type feel stimulated. This will not only be exciting to the individual but is something they’ll feel energized by and will likely remember for many years to come.

ESTPs appreciate receiving positive feedback and want to be seen and heard. Recognize their efforts and accomplishments in both their personal and professional life. They also feel valued when they’re sought out for advice.

Spontaneity is also an important part of making the relationship succeed. Try to spontaneously show physical affection or suggest taking a road trip over the weekend. Find new activities to try together, which will make it easier to bond and create new memories to ensure the relationship continues to be exciting and fulfilling.

How can an ESTP make an INFP feel loved and appreciated?

Scheduling time for deep, meaningful conversations is crucial when you’re in a relationship with an INFP. Take the time to connect each day and ask how they’re feeling. Avoid having any distractions around you to show your focus is on the other person, which will allow them to feel heard.

Scheduling one-on-one dates is a great way to protect your connection and spend time together in an intimate setting. You’ll also need to get into the habit of opening up and sharing your emotions to strengthen your bond. Consider asking your partner their opinions about a subject you’re interested in, which will allow them to feel valued and understood.

INFPs are always attracted to people who are kind and compassionate, making it necessary to choose your words carefully and remain gentle whenever you express constructive criticism. INFPs are extremely loyal, which requires showing that you’re committed to the relationship and taking the time to connect with them throughout the week.

ESTP and INFP Conflicts/Problems

When an ESTP and an INFP need to resolve conflicts or problems, it’s important for an INFP to try and remain rational and logical with their approach to the issue and how they communicate. ESTPs should try to become more compassionate and empathetic, which will earn the trust of the other person. INFPs also need empathy and sensitivity from the ESTP.

How can ESTPs attempt to resolve conflict?

An ESTP can get along better with their partner by learning how to ask questions since they’re more likely to be quieter and reserved. Remain gentle and affirming while always using kind words. Avoid acting accusatory or using negativity in how you communicate, which can cause the other person to shut down immediately.

How can INFPs attempt to resolve conflicts?

Those with an INFP personality type can attempt to resolve conflicts with an ESTP personality type by engaging with them with high energy. ESTPs are bored easily and need more stimulation, especially if you want to get their attention and help them focus on what you’re trying to communicate. Keep it light-hearted and avoid being overly serious while spending time with your family members, friends, and co-workers.

Giving an ESTP freedom is also necessary to prevent them from feeling controlled. ESTPs need to feel like they have flexibility with their life and can choose where they work or how they spend their time. INFPs can also grow by avoiding taking everything too personally.

Although ESTPs can occasionally come off as insensitive or uncaring, most of what they say is not always coming from a wrong place or with ill intent.

Here are a few simple steps to resolving conflict:

  • INFPs should avoid taking on a victim mentality and separate themselves from the issue
  • ESTPs should remain compassionate and sensitive
  • Both personalities need to choose to trust the other individual
  • INFPs should try to respond and interact with more energy
  • Actively listen and avoid interrupting
  • Attempt to find a win-win solution that benefits both parties
  • Both should give each other flexibility to make their own choices
  • Review the different options that are available
  • Try to have the other person’s best interest in mind and consider their perspective
  • Choose how long to discuss the matter and prevent it from dragging on for too much time

Fortunately, ESTPs don’t hold grudges and move on quickly from conflicts. They’re not prone to reflecting too deeply, and they tend to focus on what’s right in front of them.

INFPs are more likely to feel drained after engaging in conflict, especially with their significant other. They’ll likely need to have space and time alone to recharge and recover from the event. They may need to process how they’re feeling and have a follow-up talk.

ESTP and INFP Friendships

Many friendships that involve an ESTP and INFP individual can be successful because both personality types can work together as a team and balance each other out with their strengths and weaknesses. ESTPs contribute to friendship by helping INFPs become more assertive and direct, whereas INFPs are skilled in considering other people and having empathy.

What can make an ESTP and an INFP good friends?

Each can help the other grow and develop due to the balance of their strengths and weaknesses. It’s important to value the other person’s strengths and model their behaviors and habits to ensure you can grow and become more well-rounded. ESTPs can become a lot more gentle and sensitive while spending time with an INFP friend, whereas INFPs can learn how to stand up for themselves and have a more objective approach instead of an emotional perspective of the world around them.

INFPs tend to make excellent friends due to how compassionate and supportive they are. They can be extremely loyal and will go to great lengths to show how much they believe in other people. Because INFPs don’t like conflict, they can be easy to be friends with and aren’t prone to being hurtful or too direct in their communication.

ESTPs can offer excitement to INFPs and help them get out of their box. They can take them on exciting adventures and help them face their fears. ESTPs can also help INFPs become more confident in social settings.

The top benefits of becoming friends:

  • Strengths and weaknesses balance each other out
  • They can help each other grow in their weaknesses
  • A good balance of adventure and introspection
  • Both personalities are open to communication
  • ESTPs can help INFPs think outside of the box
  • Neither will hold the other back

Love Languages of ESTPs and INFPs

ESTP Love Languages

  • Physical touch
  • Quality time

Ways to Spend Time with an ESTP

  • Participate in a team sport
  • Try outdoor activities like cycling or rock climbing
  • Watch thrilling movies
  • Explore a new city or take trips
  • Dance

INFP Love Languages

  • Words of affirmation
  • Quality time

How to Spend Time with an INFP

  • Write poetry together
  • Play musical instruments
  • Attend the theatre
  • Visit a museum
  • Make reservations at an intimate restaurant
  • Find a quiet place to read
  • Attend an art exhibit

How do ESTPs show their love?

Not only do ESTPs have specific love languages, but they also show their love to people in their lives in specific ways.

Here are five ways ESTPs show their love:

  1. They find fun ways to spend time with their significant others.
  2. They purchase extravagant gifts that are exciting and memorable.
  3. They use sweet and kind words to charm their significant others.
  4. They make the time to schedule dates, even with busy schedules.
  5. Physical affection is an important part of showing they care.

How do ESTPs show their love?

INFPs are deeply committed to their romantic relationships and reciprocate the love that they receive. There are a few main ways that they show their love and affection for people in their lives.

The following are five ways INFPs show their love:

  1. They’re nurturing and compassionate.
  2. They find engaging activities to enjoy without distractions.
  3. They’re vulnerable and open with their feelings.
  4. INFPs are prone to making gifts or finding items to give that are intentional.
  5. They listen carefully to what their partner says, and they remember it.