ESFP and ESTP: Compatibility, Love, Marriage, and Romance

The outgoing, entertaining ESFP and the bold, friendly ESTP are very similar in their personality, values, and outlook on life. They both enjoy living in the moment and finding the silver lining in every situation. This couple can enjoy a happy, healthy long-term relationship with the right attitude and open communication style.


I. Compatibility

ESFPs and ESTPs are both warm, outgoing, and friendly. They would rather live in the moment and enjoy themselves than worry about what’s to come. Because of this shared outlook on life, an ESFP and ESTP relationship is highly compatible. Although both personalities are very social, ESFPs prefer to connect with others on a deep, emotional level. They tend to get along with people from all walks of life. ESTPs enjoy the company of others as well. However, they aren’t as interested in getting others to open up to them. Both personality types are bold, practical, and direct in their communications. They often share similar values and can navigate most challenges with relative ease.


Summary Chart: ESFP and ESTP Compatibility vs Possible Conflicts

Compatibility Possible Conflicts
ESFP and ESTP enjoy a sense of adventure and are always up for a good time.  ESTP is very sensitive and highly emotional, whereas ESFP tends to come across as insensitive and bluntly honest. 
Both types are social and enjoy getting out and meeting new people. ESTPs are prone to risk-taking behavior, which is problematic to the more cautious ESFP.
Both are bold and don’t mind stepping out of their comfort zones to get things done. ESFPs are conflict-avoidant and may not have their needs met due to their inability to speak up.
ESFP and ESTP are comfortable sharing their thoughts and feelings. Both can become easily bored with each other and may be tempted to let their eyes wander.


3 Reasons ESFP and ESTP Are Good for Each Other

Because ESFP and ESTP share many similarities, there are several reasons why they make a great pair. 

  1. Both enjoy spontaneity and prefer to live in the moment. 
  2. ESFP and ESTP are practical and effective at finding solutions for personal and professional problems as they arise. 
  3. These personalities are very social, and both will enjoy accompanying their partners on evenings out with friends. 

There are many reasons why ESFP and ESTP have the potential to enjoy a great relationship together. Both personality types enjoy living in the moment. They rarely think too far ahead in the future, prefer having fun, and find the silver lining in any situation. They always look for new adventures and experiences and love going outside their comfort zone. 

ESFPs and ESTPs are practical and enjoy finding and creating solutions to personal and professional problems as they arise. They are social butterflies and thrive off of interacting with everyone around them. Both personality types are very extroverted and enjoy being the center of attention. 


3 Reasons Why ESFP and ESTP Are Not Good for Each Other

At the same time, there are also a few reasons why these two many encounter their fair share of problems.

  1. ESFP and ESTP enjoy the spotlight, and they may end up competing for attention.
  2. ESTP can be insensitive and might say something that upsets the more sensitive ESFP.
  3. Neither type are a good long-term planner. Because of this, this couple might find themselves in financial hardship. 

When issues arise within an ESFP and ESTP pairing, it often has to do with how similar their personalities are. Both are very extroverted and enjoy being the center of attention. If either partner has an issue sharing the limelight, tension may arise. Another issue is ESTP’s relatively straightforward communication style. Sometimes ESTP comes across as insensitive or uncaring, which may hurt ESFP’s feelings. If this occurs often enough, it may cause distance to grow within the relationship. Finally, neither ESFP nor ESTP are great long-term planners. This bad habit is especially true regarding finances since neither tends to budget wisely. If not addressed, their carefree attitude towards money may find them in severe financial trouble. 



ESFP and ESTP enjoy an open style of communication. They are naturally gifted orators and are funny and friendly. While they may naturally seem compatible in this respect, they sometimes have to fight for the spotlight. Neither likes to sit and listen for long because both have so much they want to say. In addition, because of their similar communication styles, they may have problems actively listening to what the other has to say due to being distracted by their thoughts. 


Where are they strong, and why?

Neither personality type likes to beat around the bush when it comes to telling others how they feel. ESFP is conflict-averse, and they won’t cause any unnecessary drama to pass the time. However, they will give their wholehearted opinion on the topic at hand. At the same time, ESTP is also a skillful and direct communicator. This couple never has to wonder about their partner’s thoughts on any given situation, as they make themselves very clear. 


Where do they have problems and why?

Because both personality types love to talk, they might find themselves trying to talk over one another. It’s not uncommon for them to disrupt each other and try to speak louder than their partner. This issue can become a significant problem in the relationship, especially since they may not truly hear what their partner says. Active listening tends to be a problem for this pair. Instead of listening to their partner’s point of view, they are often lost in their heads formulating their response. 


How might they improve communication?

While it may take a decent amount of practice, this couple needs to learn a “give and take” communication style with each other. This communication style means one partner has time to address their concerns while the other partner actively listens before chiming in. This way, both partners feel heard in the relationship and can efficiently devise a solution to their issues as they arise. 


Where do they connect? Why?

ESFPs and ESTPs are both very effective communicators. ESTPs are more logical, while ESFPs bring a more empathetically focused tone to the conversation. These personality types can use their unique points of view to work towards solving problems as they arise in the relationship. 


ESFP & ESTP: Values

Values are often an essential component in any relationship. A couple’s chances of long-term success often depend upon whether their values complement each other. ESFP and ESTP share very similar values, making them highly compatible.

3 Things an ESFP Values

ESFPs are fun-loving and seek adventure and opportunity every chance they get. Their optimistic point of view and strong sense of individuality make them magnetic personalities. 

  1. Spirit of adventure
  2. Relentless optimism
  3. Strong sense of individuality

ESFPs are natural-born performers. These personality types enjoy being the center of attention and are always up for a good time. Because of these traits, people gravitate toward them. They aren’t the type to exclude anyone and will gladly make friends with introverts and extroverts alike. They are good-natured and try to look positively at any situation. They are bold, creative, and possess excellent people skills.

3 Things an ESTP Values

Similar to their counterparts, ESTPs share an adventurous side. They love connecting with others and also enjoy entertaining. However, they like to live in the moment rather than plan too far ahead. 

  1. Practicality
  2. Spirit of adventure
  3. Social connections

While ESTPs are very outgoing like ESFP, they are a bit more rational than their counterpart. They prefer tangible ideas that they can transform into reality and would rather get things done than discuss abstract theories or concepts. These personality types share a love of adventure and are always up for a good time. They enjoy being around others. However, they tend to speak a little too bluntly at times. On the other hand, they enjoy being the center of attention and know how to work a room with their witty banter and humor. 


How do their values match up?

Both ESFP and ESTP enjoy the ability to explore and interact with the world around them. Both live with passion and rarely let an opportunity pass them, whether a last-minute getaway or an exciting job offer. They love to socialize with others and have strong communication skills. They value their friends and family and will loyally defend them. Both are also quite optimistic and always try to look at the silver lining, even in the most challenging situations. 


Love Language/Love Style

Knowing a person’s love language is a great way to understand how they function in a relationship. A person’s love language is their preferred method of showing affection. 


Ways ESFPs Show Their Love

ESFPs are very tangible partners and prefer to show their love through physical contact, quality time together, and words of affirmation. 

  • Physical touch
  • Quality time 
  • Words of affirmation

ESFPs are physically affectionate and love to show their devotion through public and private displays of affection. They turn their attention towards their partner whenever they can and love to spend time with them. They enjoy exploring new places around town with their partners and never pass up the chance to tell them how they feel about them. 


Ways ESTPs Show Their Love

ESTPs ensure their partners know they are valued by spending time with them, helping them perform tasks around the house, and initiating physical touch. 

  • Quality time
  • Acts of service
  • Physical touch

ESTPs enjoy spending plenty of quality time with their partners and don’t mind if it’s spent at home catching up on their favorite show or spending an evening out on the town. They have a “can do” attitude which translates into their love language. They attempt to do what they can to make their partner’s life more comfortable and help get things done around the house or run errands. They also enjoy physical touch and give plenty of affection to their partners in public and private settings. 


ESFP and ESTP in Bed

ESFPs are passionate lovers in the bedroom. While their energy can be a bit intense for more reserved personalities, their efforts are appreciated by ESTP. ESTPs enjoy living in the moment and seek pleasure as often as possible. They are reciprocal lovers and want to make their partner feel good too. ESFPs are creative in the bedroom and like trying new things. ESTP is also interested in spicing things up often and is very open to new ideas. 


II ESFP and ESTP Couples/Marriage

How does ESFP match up in a long-term romantic relationship?


ESFP Male and ESTP Female

An ESFP male and ESTP female pairing is often successful if they mutually respect each other’s need for independence. Both personality types enjoy the ability to pursue interests outside of the relationship and want to feel secure that their partner will remain supportive of their endeavors. ESFP males and ESTP females enjoy similar activities and will find their relationship relatively uncomplicated. However, they might run into issues regarding communication, primarily if neither party works on their active listening skills. 


ESTP Male and ESFP Female

ESTP males and ESFP females will enjoy a good relationship due to their similar values, past times, and personalities. Neither partner wants conflict, and both will do what they can to compromise and keep each other happy. However, an issue that may arise regards the ESTP male’s risk-taking behavior. They get bored easily and sometimes make unwise decisions to “shake things up.” This adrenaline-seeking behavior may become an issue for the more cautious ESFP female and may cause conflict in long-term relationships. This habit is especially true if risk-taking involves finances or gambling habits. 


III. ESFP and ESTP Conflicts

No relationship is without conflict, and the ESFP and ESTP relationship is no different. However, by understanding these potential conflicts and creating a plan for when they arise, this couple can weather the storm and understand how to work towards a compromise. 


Possible Areas of Conflict (and Why)

Most of ESFP and ESTP’s conflicts will arise due to a few common themes. Potential issues will stem from risky behavior, poor planning, and a need to be in the spotlight.

  • ESTP’s risk-taking behavior can be a cause for concern for the more cautious ESFP.
  • Because neither personality is great at planning, they may run into financial issues down the line.
  • Both personalities have an intense desire to be in the spotlight, which means they may end up competing with one another. 

ESTP is an adrenaline seeker. They often enjoy stepping out of their comfort zone because it gives them a thrill. Because of this, they tend to take risks more often than other personality types. These risky behaviors include speeding, gambling, drug or alcohol use, and dangerous hobbies. While ESFP also enjoys exploring the world outside of their comfort zone, they draw a hard line in the sand regarding such risks. Voicing their concern for their partners may cause ESTP to feel as though they are being nagged and will rebel even more. 

Neither personality type is a great long-term planner. They enjoy living in the moment and rarely worry about what lies ahead. While this mindset may bring them momentary pleasure, they often face financial problems due to a lack of foresight. Money issues are a significant point of contention among many relationships, especially within an ESFP and ESTP pairing. 

ESFP and ESTP love the spotlight and are gregarious and outgoing entertainers. However, their similar personalities may cause tension since they often fight for attention from others. This problem usually occurs at large gatherings, family events, and business retreats. To avoid conflict, they should learn to share the limelight every once in a while.


How do they resolve conflict?

When conflicts arise, ESTPs often try to joke about the situation. They don’t like to take disputes too seriously for a couple of reasons. First, they prefer to work through the conflict and get back to having fun. Second, they don’t tend to get too upset when things don’t go their way. ESFPs are especially conflict-averse and often go out of their way to keep the peace when conflict arises. Most disputes between ESFP and ESTP resolve by communicating their needs without becoming too worked up or emotional about the situation. 


How do they build trust?

ESTPs are more logically-minded and don’t evaluate situations emotionally. This personality trait is opposite from ESFP, which sees things from an emotional lens. Therefore, to build trust, ESFP should refrain from making emotionally charged arguments and try to be more objective and logical. At the same time, ESTP tends to be somewhat abrasive and comes across as insensitive. Therefore, they should be more mindful of how their words affect others and think through the potential consequences of what they say and how they say it.


IV. ESFP and ESTP Friendships

ESFP and ESTP friendships are easy to come by. They are naturally drawn to each other’s exuberance for life and can keep each other entertained for hours. These friendships easily form in professional and academic settings. This pair is always up for a good time and enjoy accompanying one another on their adventures. 


ESFP vs. ESTP: Approach to Friendship

These personalities love to be around other people. Whether at work or school, they crave engagement and enjoy meeting different kinds of individuals from unique backgrounds. They are warm and approachable and go out of their way to engage more reserved people. In addition, both personality types are funny and eloquent speakers who can converse with anyone, anywhere.


ESFP & ESTP Friendship Dynamics

ESFPs and ESTPs share a similar way of interacting with their friends. They are both inclusive personality types. They try to get everyone engaged in an experience, whether at a mandatory work retreat or a group vacation to the beach. Both try to make sure everyone is having a good time. 

One way in which they differ is their bluntness in communication. For example, ESTP doesn’t mind telling their friends “how it is.” Sometimes this bluntness can come across as abrasive and even insensitive. Still, ESTP doesn’t see how sugarcoating reality will do their friends any good, and their truthfulness comes from a place of love instead of disdain. ESFP is a sensitive personality type, and they try to stay mindful of other people’s feelings when approaching them with a situation. They are more tactful in their approach and try to remain considerate of the impact of their words.


What makes them good for each other as friends?

ESFP and ESTP dislike drama and enjoy having as much fun as possible. Because of their similar sunny outlooks on life, they will enjoy plenty of time going on adventures and laughing together. They share a zest for life and like to keep things interesting. ESFP likes to plan group excursions they think everyone will enjoy, while ESTP keeps everyone engaged and ensures they are having fun. 


Could they be close friends?

Yes, both types enjoy having a great time and like to focus on having fun. Because of their similar, warm personality styles, ESFP and ESTP could become very close friends. 


What are some areas that could cause them problems as friends?

These personality types enjoy being in the spotlight. While this characteristic might make them enjoyable to be around, they often compete with one another for attention. They also tend to try to outtalk each other. This habit can lead to miscommunication since they sometimes struggle with active listening.

Another issue stems from ESFPs’ risk-taking behavior. Their zest for life sometimes causes them to take unnecessary risks that are often dangerous. More cautious personality types will refrain from such behaviors, including ESTP. ESTP’s rejection of ESFP’s riskier hobbies may cause them to end the friendship altogether.