ENFP and ESTP: Compatibility, Love, Marriage, and Romance

The outgoing yet sensitive ENFP and the friendly, driven ESTP often form strong relationships first rooted in friendship. Their similar outlooks on life, love for adventure, and bright and sunny dispositions mean they usually enjoy a stable long-term relationship free from unnecessary drama or conflict.


I. Compatibility

ENFPs crave close connections with others in their personal and professional lives. They seek out friendships with their coworkers, neighbors, and classmates. They are very social and like getting to know people from various walks of life. They are open-minded, curious, and accepting of other people’s viewpoints. For these reasons, many people tend to gravitate towards them, including ESTP.

ESTPs are similarly friendly and enjoy socializing in large and small groups. They are bold, talkative, and full of energy. ENFPs and ESTPs are pretty similar in the way they approach life. They are always up for a good time and can rely on each other to keep them company on all their adventures. Neither personality enjoys drama and often goes out of their way to avoid unnecessary arguments. They are friendly and easy-going personalities who are highly compatible on most levels.


Summary Chart: ENFP and ESTP Compatibility vs Possible Conflicts

Compatibility Possible Conflicts
ENFP and ESTP share a spirit of adventure. ESTP’s propensity towards risky hobbies and thrill-seeking behavior is a cause of concern for the more cautious ENFP. 
Both personality types are great conversationalists. ESTP can seem insensitive, and their blunt honesty is sometimes too much for the more sensitive ENFP to handle. 
ENFP and ESTP are perceptive and use their powers of observation to anticipate changes in their partner’s attitude or emotions. Both personality types enjoy living in the moment, which means long-term planning for the future is often on the back burner.
ESTP is rational and practical, whereas ENFP is overly optimistic. ESTP’s practicality can keep ENFP’s feet planted firmly on the ground.  ESTP’s defiance and ENFP’s restless spirit may cause them to seek opportunities outside the relationship


3 Reasons Why ENFP and ESTP Are Good for Each Other

There are several reasons why ENFP and ESTP tend to create healthy partnerships. They share a similar outlook on life, enjoy socializing with others, and are respectful of each other’s needs for space. 

  1. ENFP and ESTP are social and outgoing and will enjoy many adventures together.
  2. ESTP has a firm grip on reality and can keep ENFP from becoming unrealistically optimistic about situations.
  3. Both personality types are excellent communicators and can use this strength to navigate challenges as they arise within their relationship. 

When engaged in a healthy relationship, this pair can expect to enjoy making plenty of beautiful memories together. They are constantly on the go, eagerly anticipating their next social gathering or exciting trip abroad. This pair never runs out of things to talk about, and they can easily pass the time discussing whatever comes to mind. They are excellent communicators and dislike arguments, so they often do what they can to maintain a harmonious relationship. 


3 Reasons Why ENFP and ESTP Are Not Good for Each Other

Of course, not every ENFP and ESTP relationship will work out. Here are a few reasons this pair may ultimately have to part ways. 

  1. ESTP’s risk-taking behavior is a common cause for concern for the cautious ENFP.
  2. ENFP’s lack of focus and drive may aggravate the more driven ESTP.
  3. ESTP can sometimes seem highly insensitive. This insensitivity can hurt ENFP’s feelings and cause them to withdraw.

ESTP counters their boredom by stepping outside their comfort zones. They often take their activities to the next level and choose potentially risky behaviors like gambling, speeding, or even skydiving. ENFP is much more cautious and may express anger over their partner’s habit of choosing such activities. In addition, ENFP can lack focus and drive, which may irritate the highly driven ESTP. ESTP’s lack of sensitivity and somewhat abrasive communication style may hurt ENFP’s feelings, causing friction in the relationship. 



ENFP and ESTP are highly effective communicators. Their communication skills mean that they often have few issues explaining their point of view. However, ENFPs prefer more abstract communication, while ESTPs are much more straightforward. It’s this direct, honest approach that can come across as insensitive at times. ENFP is sensitive and may sometimes take this abrasive communication style to heart. It’s not that ESTP wants to hurt their partner. They frankly don’t see the need to sugarcoat the issue at hand. 


Where are they strong, and why?

Both personality types are energetic communicators and are always eager to share their points of view with others. They enjoy networking with people and can listen actively to others and engage the shiest personalities. Neither personality type ever runs out of things to say. They can both singlehandedly keep a conversation going with ease. 


Where do they have problems and why?

Sometimes ENFP communicates from an emotional point of view. ESTP is more rational and doesn’t see the need to consider emotions while making important decisions. Because of this, ESTP can come across as “cold” and “uncaring.” Because ENFP and ESTP are both exuberant speakers, they often have difficulties getting a word in over each other. Sometimes they become so focused on trying to speak their minds that they stop actively listening to their partner. 


How might they improve communication?

ESTP has difficulty dealing with ENFP when they get emotionally worked up. When this occurs, they often stop listening to what they say and try disengaging from the conversation. While temporarily walking away can help diffuse tension, their miscommunication may never reach a successful resolution. 

To improve communication with ESTP, ENFP should speak from a more rational point of view and take a break from the conversation if they feel too upset. At the same time, ESTP’s insensitive tone can seem uncaring and dismissive. Therefore, ESTP should work on their tone and exercise caution with the words they use when communicating with ENFP.


Where do they connect? Why?

These two highly-spirited conversationalists never worry about running out of things to discuss. They always have several thoughts running through their minds and are eager to engage everyone around them. They are excellent networkers and enjoy socializing in large and small groups. They thrive off positive interactions and are rarely inflammatory or provocative without purpose. 


ENFP & ESTP: Values

A couple’s values often give insight into whether the relationship will last. When two personality types share similar values, they can expect to enjoy a robust and healthy partnership built on a sturdy foundation of friendship. 


3 Things an ENFP Values

ENFPs are much deeper personality types than their happy-go-lucky demeanor tends to let on. They value individuality, create meaningful connections, and are compassionate towards others.

  1. Individuality
  2. Meaningful connections
  3. Compassion

There are many reasons why many different personality types gravitate toward ENFPs. Not only are they spirited, adventurous, and open-minded, but they genuinely care about the well-being of others. They often do what they can to include the shy, introverted coworker to work events and find meaningful ways to encourage participation from everyone in a group discussion. They value the freedom to remain independent and creative. They love the company of others and are always up for a new adventure to push them outside their comfort zones.


3 Things an ESTP Values

The bold, driven ESTP has a “go-getter” attitude and a charming personality. They enjoy the freedom to explore their surroundings, take action instead of waiting, and possess a practical mindset. 

  1. Independence
  2. Taking action
  3. Practicality

While some personality types struggle with making decisions due to the fear of doing the wrong thing, this is not the case for ESTP. ESTP would rather jump in first and ask questions later. In their opinion, the only wrong decision is no decision at all. While they are very driven, they are also practical and seek out workable solutions to life’s problems. They enjoy networking with other people and are very social and outgoing. They value the freedom to remain independent above all else and quickly move on from a job or relationship if they feel it’s not a right fit. 


How do their values match up?

ENFP and ESTP crave the independence to come and go as they please. This need for freedom means they will usually remain respectful of each other’s boundaries and give plenty of time to explore separate hobbies. They also enjoy socializing with others and getting to know people from all walks of life. ENFP is much more compassionate and emotional than ESTP. However, ESTP uses their practical mindset to think through problems more rationally than ENFP. 


Love Language/Love Style

Understanding a partner’s love language is one of the most critical indicators of a successful relationship. Knowing how each partner likes to show and receive love will help strengthen a couple’s bond and improve their chances for long-term satisfaction. 


Ways ENFPs Show Their Love

ENFPs are authentic and enjoy making their partners feel good about themselves, which is why their preferred love languages are words of affirmation, quality time, and physical touch. 

  • Words of affirmation
  • Quality time
  • Physical touch

If ENFP’s partner has a rough day, they will do everything they can to cheer them up. They show their love by expressing how important they are to them and by spending plenty of time with them. They enjoy taking their partner out on dates, especially places they’ve never been. They freely give physical affection and don’t mind public and private displays of affection. 


Ways ESTPs Show Their Love

ESTPs are “doers” by nature, and this “can do” attitude influences their preferred love languages. While they enjoy plenty of quality time and giving and receiving physical affection, they also like doing things for their partner to keep them comfortable. 

  • Quality time
  • Acts of service
  • Physical touch

ESTPs are constantly on the go, whether in their professional or personal lives. When they are in a healthy relationship, they prioritize spending quality time with their partners. They are always searching for ways to help their partner, whether by washing their car, tidying up around the house, or running errands around town. They also enjoy giving and receiving physical affection. 


ENFP and ESTP in Bed

Ever the entertainer, ENFPs have a playful side in the bedroom. They are very adventurous and open to trying new things. However, they aren’t the type to engage in one-night stands. They need to feel emotionally connected to their partner to feel fulfilled in the bedroom and crave intimacy and passion. ESTPs, on the other hand, don’t require a strong emotional connection to enjoy sexual fulfillment, but they aren’t against creating a sense of intimacy with the right partner. They believe sex is essential to any romantic relationship and may feel frustrated if their partner does not feel the same way. They enjoy making their partner feel good and love to explore what pushes their buttons. An ENFP and ESTP will experience great chemistry in the bedroom, especially if they keep things fresh and exciting. 


II. ENFP and ESTP Couples/Marriage

How does ENFP match up in a long-term relationship?


ENFP Male and ESTP Female

ENFP males and ESTP females often gravitate towards each other for many reasons. ENFP males are often funny, charismatic, and thoughtful, while ESTP females are warm, outgoing, and driven. This couple enjoys natural chemistry as they embark on many adventures together. However, they should remain cautious about their tendency to focus on feeling good in the moment and a lack of foresight into the future. An ENFP male and ESTP female in a long-term relationship should prioritize their savings and long-term goals to avoid financial trouble. 


ESTP Male and ENFP female

ESTP males and ENFP females often run into the same issues as their counterparts. While they enjoy a great sense of chemistry and are naturally comfortable around each other, they may lose sight of the bigger picture. This couple should remain especially cautious about the ESTP male’s propensity towards risk-taking behavior. They often seek new opportunities outside their comfort zones when they get bored. This habit could involve speeding, gambling, dangerous hobbies, and other risky behavior. ENFP females should understand that their partner is usually unwilling to change their ways, so they must decide if they are comfortable putting up with this facet of ESTP’s personality in a long-term relationship. 


III. ENFP and ESTP Conflicts

Although conflict between ENFP and ESTP is rare, some difficult situations will arise from time to time. By understanding and anticipating these struggles, ENFP and ESTP can work together to create practical solutions that meet their needs. 


Possible Areas of Conflict (and Why)

Although ENFP and ESTP tend to get along rather well, a few common issues might arise throughout the relationship. These issues usually involve communication patterns, ESTP’s lack of sensitivity, and risk-taking behavior. 

  • ENFP and ESTP tend to talk over one another, never truly hearing what the other is saying. 
  • ENFP’s emotional perspective can clash with ESTP’s more rational point of view. ESTP’s relatively straightforward and insensitive communication pattern can hurt ENFP’s feelings. This method of communication may cause friction within the relationship.
  • ESTP’s risk-taking behavior and disregard for personal safety cause concern for the more cautious ENFP. ENFP may spend much time worrying about their partner’s lifestyle choices and risky behavior.

Although ENFP and ESTP are exuberant communicators, they will likely try to talk over one another. Both enjoy being in the spotlight and performing for others. Therefore they may each talk at length in an attempt to be the center of attention. This need for attention can lead to resentment and tension in the relationship if not adequately addressed. 

ESTP is very rational and frank. However, their manner of communication can sometimes seem insensitive, especially when conversing with ENFP, who is much more emotional. This direct communication style can cause ENFP to shut down and not express their true feelings as often to their partner. 

The final central point of conflict stems from ENFP’s risk-taking behavior. ENFP gets bored quite easily and will take it upon themselves to seek an adrenaline rush in whatever way possible. This rush may come from speeding, gambling, excessive alcohol consumption, and other risky behavior. Unfortunately, ENFP has a hard limit on what they are willing to try. As a result, they often find themselves conflicted between giving their partner the independence they need while keeping themselves safe.


How do they resolve conflict?

Conflicts between ENFP and ESTP resolve through open communication without defensiveness. Sometimes, ESTPs’ defiance and insensitivity mean they lack foresight and the ability to understand why their actions can come across as hurtful. Fortunately, their strong communication skills mean they can quickly work through these issues when paired with an eloquent and understanding ENFP. When engaged in a healthy relationship, both are usually willing to compromise and devise a solution that works for both of them. 


How do they build trust?

Trust between an ENFP and an ESTP grows when they mutually respect each other’s needs for freedom and individuality. ESFP can also build trust with ESTP by not allowing their emotions to get the best of them, while ESTP can build trust by paying attention to the words they use when communicating with their partner. 


IV. ENFP and ESTP Friendships

ENFPs and ESTPs have very outgoing and friendly personalities that naturally gravitate toward one another. Their easy-going demeanor and zest for life mean that these friendships are relatively drama-free and stable. They both tend to light up any room they walk into and can enjoy hours of laughter and playful banter together. 


ENFP vs. ESTP: Approach to Friendship

ENFPs and ESTPs often cross each other’s paths at work, school, or neighborhood. They are both extremely outgoing and love making people laugh. ENFPs are very imaginative and upbeat. They enjoy creating new friendships wherever they go, similar to ESTP. On the other hand, ESTPs are spontaneous, charming, and easy-going. They share a zest for life like ENFP and enjoy their optimistic outlook and approach to friendship. Neither personality type wants conflict, and both will do what they can to avoid petty fights to keep the peace. 


ENFP & ESTP Friendship Dynamics

ENFPs and ESTPs are very loyal to their friends. Although ENFP prefers to get to the heart of the matter, ESTPs are less empathetic. They don’t need to feel a strong emotional connection to remain friends with someone. They want someone to accompany them on life’s little adventures. Sometimes ENFP’s unwavering generosity of time, money, and efforts go unreciprocated. Unfortunately, this means they often feel a little lonely and as though their friends don’t appreciate the effort they make to help other people out in their time of need. Unfortunately, this may also be true when friends with ESTP. ESTPs are often too busy satisfying their need for excitement to appreciate the loyalty of an ENFP. 


What makes them suitable for each other as friends?

Both personality types are highly outgoing, funny, and popular. They gravitate towards each other due to how similar they are. They try to remain optimistic in even the most challenging circumstances. They are both easy-going and genuinely fun to be around. They can appreciate each other’s high energy, zest for life, and need for independence. 


Could they be close friends?

Due to their similar values and open and expressive communication style, ENFP and ESTP can enjoy close friendships. 


What are some things that might cause them issues as friends?

Because they both enjoy talking at length, they may have difficulties getting a word in over each other. In addition, ESTP’s gravitation towards risky behavior may cause stress for the more cautious ENFP. In some situations, ESTP’s lack of sensitivity may hurt ENFP’s feelings, causing them to withdraw from the friendship.