ENFJ Compatibility: Romantic Relationships, Love, and Dating

ENFJ’s caretaking, loving nature shines brightest when it comes to romance. They are generous in giving love, attention, and affection but not so much space, which can be a blessing or curse depending on their partner’s personality type.

In a relationship, the ENFJ’s best match is someone who appreciates all they do while receiving the same level of adoration. ENFJs are very specific about their life partner and take dating seriously to find the special someone they will give their undivided loyalty to.

Here’s a summary of how ENFJs do with others:

Aspect of ENFJ Compatibility Positive Negative
General Compatibility with Other Types ENFJ is best paired with INFP and ISFP, and good chemistry is found with other NFs. ENFJ can have some conflict with its polar opposite, ISTP.
Relationships The best relationship for ENFJ is one with an intimate connection, freedom of emotional expression, and appreciation of ENFJ’s efforts. A bad relationship for ENFJ will have limited emotional depth, honest communication, and an unsatisfying amount of affection.
Love/Romance ENFJ shows their love through acts of service, statements, and spending quality time. For some, ENFJ’s antics in love can feel clingy or overwhelming. Moreover, they tend not to look after their own needs.
Dating ENFJ excels socially but only dates to find the right, long-term relationships. ENFJs have a high romantic standard for the perfect person, and they can be judgmental if a date doesn’t fit their values.

Overall Compatibility of ENFJ with Other Personality Types

Regarding relationships, ENFJ is most compatible with equally emotional feeling types, like INFP and ISFP, who fulfill the ENFJ’s longing for warmth.  Some types with Sensing and Thinking traits may have a rocky relationship with ENFJ, especially if either party is immature or unhealthy.

Best Matches for an ENFJ

INFP is the ENFJ’s mirror match. Together, ENFJ and INFP make an excellent, stable match long-term, with both providing and receiving emotional validation from each other. ENFJ.

Worst Matches for an ENFJ

Although ENFJ can get along with any type, the following types could struggle to fall into a healthy, mutually rewarding relationship.

Matches with Sensing and Thinking traits tend to bump heads with ENFJ. Thinking types can struggle to understand where the ENFJ is coming from, finding their emotional capacity too much to keep up with.

The ISTP, for one, is the complete opposite, and while it can have a lot of sparks flying at first, the relationship won’t last without effort on both sides.

ENFJ Compatibility Chart

Personality Type The result, when paired with ENFJ
INFP ENFJ and INFP create a golden relationship of balance and unity, with both devoted to creating a worthwhile, profound bond. They’re on the same wavelength with their shared interests and incredible empathy. ENFJ provides organizations with INFP’s more relaxed, sometimes chaotic approach to managing their responsibilities.
ENFP ENFP is similar to ENFJ in intellectual and emotional interest and energy. ENFJ softens the ENFJ’s structure with spontaneity and idealism. ENFP can sometimes feel the ENFJ’s hovering to be controlling, while ENFJ may feel an imbalance of attentiveness due to ENFP’s emotional focus inward.
INFJ ENFJ and INFJ have similar values with entirely different perspectives. ENFJs can draw INFJ out enough to share their strong opinions without exhaustion. Long-term, creating a healthy, steady relationship may take more work.
ENFJ Together, two ENFJs in a relationship can create a wild ride; both are matched in energy, similar values, and passion. Issues can arise with clashes about scheduling or both of their refusal to address underlying relationship problems.
INTJ ENFJ can pull the ever-pragmatic INTJ out of their shell, helping them be more open. Although not emotionally in tune with ENFJ, INTJ can observe when ENFJ takes on more than they can, informing them bluntly to take care of themselves.
ENTJ ENFJ and ENTJ together make a powerful pair of leaders, with ENTJ bringing strong logic and ENFJ bringing their empathetic perspective. Both are incredibly on top of their routines, but ENFJ can teach ENTJ to be more sensitive, and ENTJ helps ENFJ loosen up regarding others’ judgments.
INTP INTP is the opposite of ENFJ, leading to a fiery spark of passion at the beginning. Their differences in processing emotion and logic can help each other grow. However, ENFJ’s giving nature can sometimes feel constraining to INTP, who resents being controlled.
ENTP In this relationship, ENFJ may take on the role of a supporting giver. ENFP loves to advise ENTP, while ENTP uses rationale to determine the best ways to make ENFJ happy. However, ENTP can feel aloof, unable to satisfy ENFJ’s need for apparent affection.
ISFP ENFJ works smoothly with ISFP as a couple, with ISFP’s equally giving, self-sacrificing quality and ENFJ’s natural, abundant kindness.
ESFP ENFJ provides the attention ESFPs adore in return for ESFP shows of appreciation. ESFP is practical but matches the emotional wavelength of ENFJ, and both try to please each other.
ISTP ISTP might be unable to provide the emotional depth an ENFJ yearns for, especially not through speech. However, ISTP is incredibly loyal and charming in its way. This couple may struggle with opening up essential discussions.
ESTP At first, ESTP and ENFJ can be fun-loving, playful pairs. ESTP brings an energetic love exploration to the relationship, and they may not get the ENFJ immediately. It may fizzle out long-term since ESTP loses interest in the face of stability.
ISFJ For ENFJ, ISFJ offers a solid, stable base with a sense of responsibility. They match well in reciprocal acts of service, but the relationship may feel boring for ENFJ over time since ISFJ prefers to stick to what they know.
ESFJ ENFJ and ESFJ work since both are loving, dependable and honor peace in the relationship. While they can both avoid conflict, their extroversion competes when talking over each other in conversations.
ISTJ ENFJ and ISTJ are well-matched in the organization but not in interpersonal issues. They have much potential to grow with each other, but ISTJ might see ENFJ as overemotional, and the distant ISTJ might not fulfill ENFJ’s needs.
ESTJ ENFJ and ESTJ are immediately attracted to each other’s traits that they don’t have. ESTP, while unromantic, is willing to give ENFJ the love they want in whatever way possible. ENFJ can appreciate ESTJ’s logical-based romantic antics.

ENFJ Relationships

For ENFJ, relationships are a deep, passionate bond they want to cherish for a long time. A healthy, stable relationship for ENFJ includes an abundance of transparent displays or affirmations of love and appreciation for everything the ENFJ does – which can be a lot. Trouble can arise due to ENFJ’s avoidance of conflict or an imbalance of affection.

What an ENFJ Looks for in a Relationship

ENFJ has very particular desires for a relationship, and they will not pursue it without the following elements:

  • Deep intimate bond
  • Long-term commitment
  • Emotional sensitivity

ENFJs don’t look for relationships just for fun – although they also enjoy that. As strategic planners, they look for a relationship in which they see a promising future. They aim to build a deep, intimate bond when they find the right person.

ENFJs ultimately want to end up in a committed relationship.

All they want from a relationship is strong, non-judgmental support who can understand ENFJ’s powerful feeling-based approach to life. An ENFJ can be incredibly in-tune with their emotions, as well as the feelings of others, due to their awareness directed externally. As such, they want someone equally compassionate who works hard to be sensitive to ENFJ’s perspective.

What an ENFJ Needs in a Relationship

In a relationship, ENFJ has specific needs to fulfill their well of emotional intensity and capacity for love.

  • High energy and free emotional expression
  • Reminders to take care of needs
  • Safe space to speak their mind

ENFJs know precisely what they want in a partner due to their perfectionism and obsession with planning. However, they need some aspects in a relationship – especially since they tend to neglect their own needs.

Because ENFJs have a lot of love to give and their energy, they need someone who can match their level. More importantly, they need a relationship that allows their emotions to be seen and their actions to be appreciated. More than anything, ENFJs need repetitive reminders to slow down and care for themselves.

A relationship with someone acutely aware of their well-being is crucial for the ENFJ to thrive. Furthermore, because ENFJs prefer to go along with their loved ones’ wants to keep them happy (or keep the peace in the case of conflict), they need a voice in the relationship. In other words, they require a partner who can make the ENFJ feel comfortable enough to vocalize their honest needs and desires.

What an Ideal Relationship for an ENFJ Looks Like

Since ENFJ values time and order, the ideal relationship is on a schedule. ENFJs usually have a lot going on and prefer to schedule time for their partner alongside social outings, dates, and other responsibilities.

Ideally, ENFJ would love to be around their partner a lot. Their intuitive, deep imagination does not diminish their extroversion. Being alone for too long doesn’t sit well with ENFJ, especially in a relationship.

How an ENFJ Acts in Relationships

At the beginning of a relationship, the ENFJ is eager to prove its reliability. Deeply emotional yet incredibly outspoken, ENFJs don’t have a filter when expressing their feelings.

ENFJs can be very romantic, and they treat their relationships accordingly. They can bend backward for their partner, always taking heed to give them what they need. ENFJs enjoy doing and providing things that they know will delight their partner. Usually, they do such acts without expectation of anything in return.

However, they can become disheartened if their partner does not return their appreciation or emotional expression of their love.

What a Bad Relationship for an ENFJ Looks Like

ENFJs can easily fall into relationships where they give more than they receive. Because of their eagerness to please (not to be confused with disingenuous people-pleasing), their consistent acts of love and help can be taken for granted.

A long-term lack of appreciation can lead to bitterness. When ENFJs are upset, they have no qualms about expressing it outwardly, even if they prefer avoiding conflict.

A bad relationship can be filled with arguments or resentment simmering under the surface if no one steps in to address the conflict. Since ENFJ cares very much about their partner’s opinion, a relationship in which they feel criticized or unimportant to their partner can turn messy quickly.

ENFJ Love/Romance

The ENFJ is a heroic helper, and this is clear in how they express their romantic love with a person. In love, ENFJ is transparent and authentic about it, showing it through their words or actions. With a partner, ENFJs enjoy quality time getting to know them in-depth and will do acts of love or service for them.

What is an ENFJ in love like?

An ENFJ in love isn’t afraid to reveal it. ENFJs will shower more attention than usual to the source of their affections.

They will try to engage the person in conversations about feelings and profound topics. ENFJs will be more in tune with their crush’s state of mind, eager to provide acts of service when necessary.

ENFJ Males in Love

The charismatic ENFJ male is a romantic at heart. Although typically much less expressive than females, ENFJ males will show more emotion with the person they love than others with whom they are friendly.

ENFJ males value solid emotional connections, so they are picky about potential partners. When they are in love, they don’t hesitate to let their guard down.

ENFJ Females in Love

The ENFJ female will be sincere and clear from the onset about their feelings. Her bubbly, open personality can often be seen as flirtatious, although she is naturally adept in social skills.

However, when she has her eyes on someone, her emotional sincerity will turn up a notch, made evident by her attempts to get to know the person with deep, long conversations. Talking about feelings is a favorite pastime.

How an ENFJ Knows They Are in Love

ENFJs will always find a reason to spend time with the person they love. As social as they are, it can be pronounced when their attention is honed in on one individual. Upon falling in love, they will endlessly ask questions and try to get to know the other person, more so than the usual curiosity towards a new acquaintance.

How an ENFJ Shows Love

It’s no secret how an ENFJ shows their love for someone. To wit, they announce it to the world unabashedly. ENFJs are diligent in providing acts of service to cater to their partner’s every need, whether they say so or not.

A mature ENFJ’s high emotional intelligence allows them to communicate their feelings effectively. When they are not talking about how excellent their partner is, they are content to relish time with them.

ENFJ Love Language

The ENFJ’s top love languages are tied between quality time and words of affirmation. Both make perfect sense when you break down the ENFJ: their extroversion and need for connection make them crave verbal claims of fondness from their partner.

Does an ENFJ Fall in Love Easily

While highly particular about their choice of a romantic partner, ENFJs can very well plummet into a passionate frenzy. They do fall in love quickly with the right person, but only if the ENFJ can see the relationship working long-term. Once they are sure, ENFJs devote their commitment and loyalty to them.

How to Make an ENFJ Fall in Love

What makes an ENFJ fall in love is not much different than anyone else. However, their high standards dictate that the person they fall in love with passes all desirable qualities with full marks. In particular, an incredible sense of humor can blow the ENFJ away.

Showing ENFJs authenticity, emotional intelligence, and compassion are essential ways to squeeze into their hearts. They also love someone who is an excellent listener since ENFJs are known to chatter endlessly.

How to Love an ENFJ Long Term

To make a relationship work long-term, ENFJ’s partners must show and express their appreciation continuously. An ENFJ’s immense kindness should never go unnoticed. A patient, forthcoming person is best to offer these outward displays.

Spending time with them makes them feel they are valuable to their partner. They will let their partner see their full emotional spectrum without judgment.

Is an ENFJ Romantic?

A hopeless romantic at heart, ENFJ will stop at nothing to show their partner how deeply they care… even if it can sometimes be excessive. They are always there, sometimes hovering at the beck and call of their partner’s needs. Some may misunderstand ENFJ as clingy.

More accurately, ENFJs are honest and unashamed about their family and delight in sharing them. To make a budding relationship worthwhile, ENFJS prefers a slow burn. They like to take their time, riding the romance to prove their seriousness.

Is an ENFJ a Good Lover?

ENFJ is an all-around excellent lover in everyday life and intimate situations. While they crave the same level they push out, they don’t ask for love, instead putting their personal needs in the relationships on the back burner. Instead, they focus on their partner’s comfort, happiness, and desires first – which makes them happy.

ENFJ Dating

While ENFJs are excellent daters with smooth, comfortable personalities that can charm just about anyone, they have high standards regarding those to whom they give their time. Dating is a way for them to find that right, loyal person. Dates are also creative projects for them, as ENFJs love to indulge in artistic outings, social gatherings, or fun outside activities in nature.

ENFJ Dating Personality

The charismatic ENFJ has the right mixture of depth and social aptitude that allows them to be fantastic dates. They can navigate just about any social scene with their flirtatious nature. However, people can misread their interactions with ENFJ for more than just friendliness.

In reality, ENFJ chooses its date carefully. They will boost their flirting skills when they set their interest on a person. ENFJs prefer to show their interest clearly from the beginning, so they are more evident than their usual compassionate, outgoing demeanor.

During dates, ENFJs enjoy pairing up with their date at a fun social outing or event, like an art show. Museums are a top choice, although they enjoy doing unique outdoor activities together. Since their external world fuels them, ENFJ enjoys doing engaging things on dates.

What Type of Person Does an ENFJ Usually Date?

ENFJ can get along with just about anyone. However, their perfectionist essence makes them rule out candidates for dating quickly.

What can reel them in is someone who is immensely funny and equal in compassion. They want someone authentic in their communication, intuitive, and wise.

Moreover, they have a solid moral code, so someone aligning with their values usually passes through ENFJ’s filter.

What Type of Person SHOULD an ENFJ date?

ENFJs should weed out the right people, even if some seem to be attractive. The right person must have a fraction of compassion to understand that the ENFJ deserves to receive as much affection as they provide. An outgoing person can best match the ENFJ’s seemingly endless energy.

Dating an ENFJ

Courtship with an ENFJ can feel like a melodrama. They can turn their date’s life into a romance movie with their overzealous emotional displays and sentimental core. Entering their all into devising thoughtful dates, gifts, and other conventional shows of love, ENFJ stops at nothing to be clear on where they stand.

Having an ENFJ Boyfriend

Due to the ENFJ boyfriend’s sincere intuition and discerning eye, he can be ultra-attentive to his partner’s needs. While stubborn in many cases, they can yield easily to maintain relationship harmony. ENFJ boyfriends tend to be more flirtatious and present with their partner, finding any excuse to spend time together.

Having an ENFJ Girlfriend

Dating an ENFJ girlfriend can make one feel on a pedestal. She will move mountains to ensure her partner is receiving an abundant amount of care and love. She will always find ways to help further her partner’s goals.

Appreciating her attempts and acknowledging that she genuinely cares what her partner thinks of her, even if she acts like she doesn’t, is essential to make the relationship work.

ENFJ Compatibility Matches


Since ENFJs consistently aim for control over their projects, a relationship between an ENFJ and an ENFP can present an exciting challenge. These personality types get excited about similar things and have similar aims in a relationship; both value quality time with their significant other very highly. However, ENFPs tend to be impulsive, which can be difficult for an ENFJ to appreciate, so there is the potential for conflict in this relationship if each partner does not fully understand the other’s personality type.


An ENFJ will generally get along well with an ESFJ due to their shared values and empathy. Emotional issues may become problematic since both parties tend to avoid conflict. If they are willing to work through any  fully fullyproblems, these personality types can do very well together.


While INFJ is not the best match for ENFJ based on personality type alone, an ENFJ-INFJ relationship has its strengths. These two types have similar values, and both will seek to maintain clear communication with their partner. They may still have problems understanding each other since ENFJs tend to think and act forthrightly in a manner that may cause INFJs to perceive them as shallow, and INFJs are often indecisive.