ENFJ and ENFP Relationships: Compatibility, Love, Marriage and Romance

ENFJ and ENFP are both extraverts who are energetic, warm and caring. They are fiercely independent but still tend to put the needs of other people ahead of their own. They do have their differences, however, specifically in their need for structure when managing their daily lives. So the question is, how will these two personality types interact as friends or as romantic partners? Are they suited for one another?

Are ENFJs and ENFPs compatible enough to be in a romantic relationship?

With any two personality types, a relationship can work wonderfully if both people are equally committed. ENFJs and ENFPs are both social creatures who are focused on improving the world by making a meaningful difference in people’s lives. How they go about achieving this objective reveals a significant difference in their personalities. ENFJs are more competitive and goal-oriented. ENFPs, on the other hand, are whimsical, erratic and do not require the type of rigidity that ENFJs often need to feel comfortable.


If you’re looking for someone who is enthusiastic, charismatic and compassionate, then you won’t do much better than an ENFJ. They are action-oriented souls who have a significant streak of perfectionism that drives them forward.

4 Characteristics of ENFJs

  1. They will relentlessly root for the causes and the people that they believe in.
  2. They are experts at making others feel appreciated and special.
  3. Even though they’re well-intentioned, they can come across as overbearing.
  4. They talented at converting their excitement in to action.


Take all of the ENFJ’s enthusiasm and people skills and add a wild card of whimsy. Then you’ll have something close to an ENFP. They are caring, warm and where the ENFJ is more of a planner, the ENFP is more impulsive. They are curious about all things intellectual and love nothing more than having a deep conversation about thought provoking issues.

4 Characteristics of ENFPs

  1. They love an intellectual challenge even though they are rarely swayed from their own opinions and theories.
  2. They tend to behave in an all-or-nothing way. If they’re in, be it a relationship or a political cause, they’re all in without the slightest hesitation.
  3. They are gifted communicators and can crystalize abstract theories into meaningful messages.
  4. ENFPs can be impulsive and sometimes a little stubborn.

Now that it’s clear who these personality types are as people, it’s easier to speculate how an ENFJ and an ENFP might function in a romantic relationship. There would be highs and potentially some lows as well.

4 Reasons ENFJs and ENFPs would romantically mesh well together

  1. They both love physical affection, so the relationship could be very passionate and fulfilling.
  2. ENFJs and ENFPs agree that quality time in a relationship should be a priority.
  3. Both have naturally cheerful dispositions and tend to be optimistic and upbeat.
  4. Both understand the language of emotion and will strive to be there for each other.

Still, their different lifestyles and ways of thinking could hinder them as they proceed in their romance.

4 Reasons ENFJs and ENFPs might have problems in a romantic relationship

  1. Although communication is a specialty for ENFJs and ENFPs, they hate conflict and may stay silent on upsetting issues, afraid of hurting the other person.
  2. Jealousy could be a factor because both personalities have a natural friendliness can be misperceived as being overly flirtatious.
  3. ENFJs tend to be tidy housekeepers while ENFPs tend to be messier.
  4. It could be frustrating to have one goal-oriented personality (ENFJ) and the other more lackadaisical personality (ENFP) having to compromise all of the time.

Romance / Love / Sex

Would ENFJs and ENFPs be physically compatible? How would each approach being in love?

ENFJs make great romantic partners. Rarely do you find a personality who is so focused on making their partner happy, even if it means sacrificing their own needs.

4 Ways an ENFJ might approach love

  1. They love creative and romantic gestures like arranging romantic dinners and giving giant bouquets of flowers.
  2. During a romance, encouragement, reassurance and praise are their specialty.
  3. They are extremely enthusiastic and, if not careful, can suffocate their partner with too much attention.
  4. Being in love for them means giving and receiving enthusiastic compliments.

Like ENFJs, ENFPs are warm and caring and take their love relationships very seriously. Quality time and communication are absolute keys for a successful relationship with an ENFP.

4 Ways an ENFP might approach love

  1. In order to have a love match, they need a real spiritual and emotional connection.
  2. They are communicators and love to tell their significant other how much they mean to them. They also need to hear it in return.
  3. ENFPs tend to be huggers and love physical affection.
  4. They don’t like to feel controlled in a relationship.

Being in love usually means that the couple meshes well together. Here are some reasons why an ENFJ and an ENFP work well together:

  • They both enjoy expressing love through physical intimacy.
  • The ENFJ is a planner and the ENFP is spontaneous, so in a relationship, they will balance each other out.
  • Given that they are both excellent persuaders, they can encourage each other to break out of their comfort zones.

As with any love relationship, there will be difficulties that need to be resolved. Here are some reasons an ENFJ and an ENFP may have problems:

  • They are both conflict-avoiders, so issues may fester and not be resolved.
  • The ENFP could feel bossed around by an overzealous ENFJ.
  • They are both so extraverted, they may run the risk of not having enough social downtime.

Role of Gender

In some instances, ENFJs and ENFPs fit neatly into society’s traditional gender roles. With other aspects of their personalities, however, they diverge from the stereotypical notions about male and female roles.


ENFJ males and females don’t worry about whether or not they are fulfilling society’s expectations regarding gender. They are independent thinkers and much more concerned with doing what is right rather than doing what is expected.

In terms of male stereotypes, male ENFJs are in many ways contradictory. On one hand, they are charming, bold and confident, which seems to fit the idea of a typical alpha male. On the other hand, they are very emotional and deeply sensitive, quite different from the quintessentially stoic male.

4 Characteristics of male ENFJs

  1. They are hopeless romantics who hope to find a lifelong partner.
  2. They are perfectionists and can be very hard on themselves.
  3. They thrive in bustling social situations but prefer more quiet and meaningful interactions.
  4. They are great listeners who are known for giving sage-like advice.

ENFJ females, like their male counterparts, very often possess certain gender stereotypes as well as some nontraditional traits. They make great leaders and aren’t afraid to passionately argue on behalf of their causes. They are also nurturing, emotional and honest about their feelings and insecurities.

4 Characteristics of female ENFJs

  1. They are enthusiastic and passionate about what is important to them.
  2. They are room readers — good at picking up on the emotional cues of those around them.
  3. They are multitasking experts.
  4. It is good to have a female ENFJ boss because of her personal warmth and willingness to offer tough but constructive feedback.


Similar to ENFJs, ENFPs don’t always fall in line with the stereotypes of what it means to be a typical male and female.

Male ENFPs are charmers and natural go-getters. They are also very sensitive and capable of being emotionally vulnerable.

4 Characteristics of male ENFPs

  1. They have no hesitation about making the first romantic move.
  2. They are excellent flirts.
  3. Because they are so open, they may fear getting hurt.
  4. ENFPs are faithful in relationships, contrary to what their flirty nature may make some believe.

On the surface, female ENFPs appear just like your typical bubbly, fun and happy-to-socialize type of girl. They’re also intelligent, driven and not afraid to set goals and achieve them.

4 Characteristics of female ENFPs

  1. They tend to prefer intelligent conversation over smooth, shallow chit-chat.
  2. They are not afraid to go after what they want.
  3. They are very open about their emotions.
  4. Sometimes, they get accused of flirting when they’re just being their normal, gregarious selves.

Possible relationship scenarios between ENFJ males and ENFP females

  • Sometimes, female ENFPs are so nurturing, they end up “mothering” their significant others. This may frustrate a male ENFJ, who could feel that her hovering suffocates him.
  • An ENFP female might get frustrated by her ENFJ partner’s daily schedule. She would rather play things by ear and not stress over a schedule. He might think she was irresponsible and not focused enough.
  • An ENFJ male might be at his wits end if he has to pick up one more of her dirty towels from the bathroom floor. He needs order in his space but she is oblivious to an untidy house.

Possible relationship scenarios between ENFJ females and ENFP males

  • When they go out with friends, the ENFJ female entertains with quick-witted and clever retorts. The ENFP is better at entertaining their friends by doing something spontaneous and fun.
  • ENFJs hate interruptions. If an ENFJ female is working from home, there will be issues if she’s constantly interrupted about trivial matters by her ENFP boyfriend.
  • The ENFP male is used to his ENFJ girlfriend talking to everyone. Eventually, however, he may begin to imagine that she is flirting and become threatened, when all she’s really doing is being her naturally friendly self.


Both ENFJs and ENFPs are likely to be very social and have large circles of friends. They love people, and they both value meaningful friendships that offer deep emotional connections.


As extraverts and enthusiastic organizers, they are pros at making connections with people. Sometimes, if they aren’t careful, they may end up behaving more like a coach than a friend.

4 Characteristics of an ENFJ’s friendships

  1. ENFJs are known for listening intently to their friends, offering helpful advice and providing an action plan of how specifically to achieve success.
  2. They can be thin-skinned and are easily hurt by people who are less sensitive than they are.
  3. They encourage others to be open but may be guarded about their own feelings.
  4. Their friendships are all about deep, meaningful connections.


They are outgoing and cheerful and are a lot of fun to be around, which makes them great friends. They are also excellent listeners who will drop everything to offer support and encouragement.

4 Characteristics of an ENFP’s friendships

  1. No one ever needs to ask an ENFP if something is wrong because they wear their hearts on their sleeves.
  2. They can walk into a tense situation and instantly make everyone in the room feel better.
  3. They can be kind of flighty when it comes to making plans.
  4. They are very idealistic and may have unrealistic expectations about their friends.

Can ENFJs and ENFPs be friends?

They can absolutely be friends. As highly social extraverts who routinely put other people first, they have similar outlooks about the world. Because an ENFJ is a judger and an ENFP is a perceiver, they will inevitably have different approaches to day-to-day life.

3 Reasons why ENFJs and ENFPs might mesh well together

  1. They both want friends with whom they can share their innermost feelings.
  2. They both hate injustice and will always root for a David over a Goliath.
  3. Both put their whole hearts into their friendships, meaning they will do whatever it takes to make sure the other is supported.

3 Reasons why there might be problems in an ENFJ and ENFP friendship

  1. ENFPs love their freedom whereas ENTJs like to stick to a schedule.
  2. They are both very high energy personalities. There might be a risk of feeling a constant pressure to always be socializing or doing the next activity.
  3. Sometimes, an ENFJ can come off as being overly critical, which could be difficult for a sensitive ENFP to bear.

In the end, ENFJs and ENFPs are similar enough to mesh well in a friendship or romantic relationship but also different enough to make the journey interesting. If they use their powerful communication ability to talk to each other about troublesome issues rather than avoiding conflict, there is no reason why these two personalities won’t have a long and beautiful relationship together.